before we said goodbyeMature

I wish I would have known

how many people look just like you,

how I can glance a silhouette from behind,

and choke on my heart in my throat

before my brain has the chance to override.

It’s not you.

It never will be you. 

 

I wish I would have known

the clarity of my memory,

how I can still remember every hair

peeking from your nostrils,

but your fingertips across my goose-bumped skin

is lost in a void of forgotten thoughts.

 

I wish I would have known

that the shitty song you loved ,and insisted to play on repeat,

repeats forever, inside of me.

And I hate it, but not as much as I hate

hearing nothing,

nothing at all.

 

And, sometimes when it rains,

and I’m drifting far away,

I feel like I hear your footsteps on the pavement,

your key in the lock,

your clumsy body causing the bed to squeak,

as you crawl in next to me ...

 

But then, I remember.

I remember so painfully.

 

The End

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