Sorry

There are so many things I want to say,

On this cool and frosty October day,

But as I sit the words won't come,

There is nothing left, my talkings done.

 

I wish you could see inside my head

Or hear these words all left unsaid

The guilt and sorrow that I feel

For all those thoughts I can't reveal.

 

I cried for help and though you heard

Why I do this is quite absurd

For despite everything you tried to do

I have lost the will to see it through.

 

I feel so selfish, but deep inside

I fear there is no where left to hide

When I'm alone, with only me

I hate this person that I see.

 

There's only one thing left to try

To end this sad, pathetic cry

To give me back some pride again

To stop each day from being the same.

 

The life I had yearned for was not my own

As these weeks of struggle have clearly shown

But please don't be mad or pity me

If I am now truly where I yearn to be.

 

I wished that I could make you proud

That I could stand out from the crowd

Inspiring folk to be their best

Before I took my final rest.

 

Instead I leave a legacy

Of the person no one wants to be

And in the end, all I have shown

Is how hard it is to be alone

 

So forgive me, this one final choice

For the very thing I could not voice

Was that I thought I was special and had so much to give

But it simply that wasn't the truth of the life that I lived.