In this poem I have tried to be a voice for those people suffering from severe depression, and their inner struggle at not being able to express how they feel to the people close to them.
WARNING - it is not for the faint-harted, it is very dark (and I would consider it NOT suitable for children)
If I have got it right, it will probably make you cry.
There are so many things I want to say,
On this cool and frosty October day,
But as I sit the words won't come,
There is nothing left, my talkings done.
I wish you could see inside my head
Or hear these words all left unsaid
The guilt and sorrow that I feel
For all those thoughts I can't reveal.
I cried for help and though you heard
Why I do this is quite absurd
For despite everything you tried to do
I have lost the will to see it through.
I feel so selfish, but deep inside
I fear there is no where left to hide
When I'm alone, with only me
I hate this person that I see.
There's only one thing left to try
To end this sad, pathetic cry
To give me back some pride again
To stop each day from being the same.
The life I had yearned for was not my own
As these weeks of struggle have clearly shown
But please don't be mad or pity me
If I am now truly where I yearn to be.
I wished that I could make you proud
That I could stand out from the crowd
Inspiring folk to be their best
Before I took my final rest.
Instead I leave a legacy
Of the person no one wants to be
And in the end, all I have shown
Is how hard it is to be alone
So forgive me, this one final choice
For the very thing I could not voice
Was that I thought I was special and had so much to give
But it simply that wasn't the truth of the life that I lived.