Ballad Of The Secret Jerk 'Nice Guy'Mature

I'm a nice guy, I really am,
Everything goes wrong for me,
I try as hard with girls as I can,
But they just like douchebaggery.

Every girl is cold and shallow,
I'm a good guy but I'm rejected,
Clearly, they're just mean and hollow,
And want give a bodybuilder head.

I help them with homework,
I mow their lawns,
I give them discounts as a clerk,
But just they grow devil horns.

When I ask about a date,
Into friendzone I go,
Sure, I just want do them up late,
But after all my work, why do they say no?

Clearly they're the bad ones,
They don't want to sleep with me,
Maybe when the next one comes,
I'll have to employ far more trickery.

I'll tell them they're special,
That they're different from any other girl,
Then maybe I can get them all,
If not, I'll make their life a living hell.

Spread rumours around vigourously,
Obviously they're fake and heartless,
Because after all my work, they flee,
And treat me like I'm a stress.

There's nothing wrong with this,
I'm doing everything right,
I'm being their friend, I don't give a piss,
I just want to bang them at night.

Love doesn't really exist,
It's all a trick to the eye,
There's no special time people kissed,
Everyone is living a lie.

I'm a nice guy, I really am,
Obviously women are just evil and manipulating,
Because they don't want to have sex on cam,
So I'm going to blame them for everything.

The End

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