Anywhere

I've been balancing on the tip of nothing,

for fear of falling into something,

that might be beautiful,

but if it doesn't involve you

it's reduced to smoldering rubble reeking fumes,

toxic air, toxic despair

I inhale, regardless.

 

I've never been good at playing games,

my poker face is as secret as a highway billboard,

my soul as stealthy as a fire alarm.

I'll lay my cards on the table,

spread my muddled aces

tell you, I'm afraid.

I'm scared out of my wits,

destiny is calling and I know not how to follow it.

Some would claim the opposite of safety is danger,

I beg to differ, it's opportunity,

for in it lurks endless possibilities,

any imaginable disaster.

I am young, I am free,

I have the world ahead of me,

urged to leave this tiny town

and grow big, for I'm allowed

to bloom, but not admit I'm too terrified to.

I'm expected to be myself

but put my emotions on a shelf

and simply soak up sunshine pouring down on me

as if we were never

we.

 

The truth is, I am in love with you,

I've wept my sheets into soggy tissues

every night for the past month,

at the prospect I will be facing a future

that no longer includes you.

I'm not ready to leave this little town,

for I've found there's a little girl inside me

who's not quite old enough yet,

to accept her perfect fairy tale romance

is being snuffed out before it has a chance

to breathe.

You touch my hand,

smile, ask me what is wrong,

and I say nothing.

I do not wish to waste these last days with you

drowning in the pain of our impending doom,

still, in the dead of the night,

as I watch the satellites, 

my heart fragments like shooting stars

as I realized I have to let go of all we are.

From that first night we met, 

you pressed me to your skin,

I knew there would be no other to dwell within

the silent folds of my soul,

now, it all has to go.

The boy who once held me strong,

yet soft and tender in his arms,

whispered into my spiraled hair

"I'll forever be there."

let me fall off into anywhere.

The End

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