And Then I Found You

A drugs and addictions spoken word piece.

And Then I Found You 


Like scissors to paper it cut me  

Cut me down and the saddest part is ~  

I thought I had a fighting chance.  

I thought I could have been stronger  

I could have fought harder and believe me ~  


I tried with all of my heart to pick up my shambled pieces and walk  

The same path everyone else always seemed to  

But looking back now ~  

I had never walked that path  


When others turned right, I turned left  

I did it to be different and I did it to be someone I'm not  

I met my demon at one of the crossroads   

And I soon noticed I had stopped completely.  


I didn’t move.  

First in curiosity and then in bliss  

And I didn’t think of the paths I had to take  

No judgment, no issues  

There was no bad choice if there was no choice  

There was no pain if there was no battle to win  

No fight if I gave in to urges I had fought for so long  

I could never feel it  

It numbed me ~  


It became my world ~  


The bliss soon turned to emptiness  

I was scared.  

I noticed glares of passers by  

I was never alone on this road  

The stop I thought would be my savior ~ 

Was actually a nightmare  


I had nowhere to turn  

No one to hold me  

Not a damned person who cared  

I was still at the same stupid crossroads  


But now I was forced to stare  

Stare at the demon in a cherubs robes  

The demon that tricked me into chaos and made me feel like I was nothing  

Nothing more than my demon  


I was mad, I was more than mad  

I was ready to kill and that’s all I could feel.  

I was cursed into hatred and anger  

That’s all he would ever allow me to feel  


And if I couldn’t ever feel your warmth like I used to  

My numbness would kill me ~  

I wanted to speak out but it wouldn't let me  

I wanted to turn back but it wouldn’t let me  

Every time I tried to turn back I would trip, I would fall  

But it was pushing me  

I would try to run, but it was always on my heels.  


I wanted to feel love and warmth~  

And the good thoughts you brought me  

I couldn’t see you  

I was a failure and you didn’t accept less than great  

At least that’s what I was taught  

I realized it would eat me, it owned me  

And I couldn’t do a damned thing about it  


I thought I couldn’t do anything right  

I thought this was just another wrong turn  

Just another screw up on the long road I've traveled so far  

I was just a screw up with no place  

Acrack I the perfect porcelain that was your image  

No hope left for me  

No place in the world and I felt alone~  


And then you sent an angel  

Pushing me to turn around when I thought there wasn't hope for me anymore  

You held my hand at every turn  

Helped me carry the broken pieces my arms couldn’t hold  

You helped me keep the small shred of dignity and sanity I had  

You held me in times of weakness  


You pushed me to try harder in my times of strength  

You helped me face it  

My demon, my hatred  

My anger, my numbness  


I can feel you now  

I feel your warmth and your love  

And I feel the spark of hope I never thought I could see again.  

And though I am not back where I started yet.  

I know I can take on anything as long as I see you  

The End

0 comments about this poem Feed