- golden days
i've grown a lot in the last couple years
from a stupid kid
to a slightly taller stupid kid
and i don't think i'd recognize the person i used to be
slinking around underneath the guise of "she"
pretty girl pretty words
i'm ugly now and i won't apologize for it
my appearance stays the same but something dark twists in my gut
creeps angry and greasy, sick and curling, through the bottom rungs of my ribs
i don't miss you.
it was time to let you go
and i don't think i'd understand you anymore
even though all you ever craved was for someone to get you
ironic isn't it that i wouldn't, not now
i've grown at least a little.
learned to let go of perfection
of the rigidity of grammar and spelling
it's okay to have some fun with your messages and writing
and i think that with my capital letters slipped away my perfectionism
the desperate need to please some faceless audience
i've accepted the looser version of myself
my younger self would hate me, i think.
who i've grown to be
and i'm okay with that.
i don't particularly like them either.