i cry over love
just a stupid kid who doesn't understand the world
and yes, denial takes no prisoners with her stolen heart
but i'm born from generations of failed marriages
far enough back,
years upon years ago
enough great-greats that i can no longer name the relation in my family tree,
there was a young man and a young woman
and they married
and she died
and on her tombstone, it says
26 years, 4 months, and 24 days
and i cannot fathom
how much he must have loved her
to count down to the days how long she lived for
how much do you have to love someone to do that
and i'll never marry
because something in me is damaged
by being surrounded by my family's lost love
how much failure can i be faced with
until i accept that love just will never be for me?
i don't know.
i just don't know.