Analytic Stream of ConsciousMature

Tell me

Is this a processed thought
or just stream of conscious
Judging from how much focus I lost
Just typing that out must mean it's processed
I guess I feel that if I don't put these thoughts out
I'll never reclaim the lost feeling
This inactive trance that has cast
it's way over like grey clouds
has me dazed
Every time I become self-conscious of my actions
I realize that I'm just slipping into the shade
of who I once was
My thoughts are extremely disfigured
I can find neither the strength nor will
To get past the point that I am now
There's just a lingering question in my head
Of why the hell am I here
On this earth
Why am I living
What is the purpose I'm supposed to achieve
And I keep telling myself that it's a question
that can't be answered in this lifetime
and that the only way is to pave a path for future generations
But that sounds like crap
That we're all pawns
That we've developed these individualistic freedoms
And pursue this vast knowledge
and strive for constant advancement
only to not know what awaits us at the end
Or if there is any end at all
I sit back and wonder
Why is it that humans fall into these habitual methods
and are satisfied with their daily routines
My father speaks of it as if it's glory
Go out
Get an education
Get a job
Wake up
Provide for family
These simplistic ideals in life
They say live comfortably
Do work now so that you can get everything
you want in the future
But why would I want to live in such a repetitive future
What the hell is this damn cycle for

Truth is, I'm just ranting
I don't know what the hell is bothering me
I try to let these thoughts flow
as a possible diagnosis
but by the time I get to the end
I realize that I don't actually give a shit about any of it
And thus my cycle repeats

The End

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