You have another vodka and diet coke,
I watch you smile, dance and sing.
I am your mirror.
‘You’re the one that I want’ plays and recognising the accuracy
of the words I smile and join in, a mask for my turmoil.
Happiness washes over me, tingling sensations
all through my soul, so selfish of me to be here,
I burn for you.
I wish I didn’t feel this way.
My heart flutters, breathing you in.
I wonder if everyone can see my truths
in the dimmed light. I’m raw and exposed,
I feel obvious. Deceitful.
This brand new friendship put on a precipice
because I want you, I want you, and it’s wrong.
Band of gold burning, guilt searing through me.
You take for granted that I’m happy, I am,
but you’ve taken me over.
The disco lights twinkle on your sparkling lashes
and I burn again, wanting.
You have another vodka and diet coke, we dance and sing
and get drunk, you don’t think you’ll remember a thing.
I drink and drink but I know I’ll remember every moment,
I soak you up, happy,
delight in my time with you.
You grab my hand and intertwine your fingers in mine
and tell me about your heartache, while my own heart aches
at your innocent touch. Rest your head upon my shoulder,
while you wish for someone to kiss your lips.
I stroke your hair and my eyes burn.