Mask

You have another vodka and diet coke,

I watch you smile, dance and sing.

I am your mirror.

‘You’re the one that I want’ plays and recognising the accuracy

of the words I smile and join in, a mask for my turmoil.

 

Happiness washes over me, tingling sensations

all through my soul, so selfish of me to be here,

I burn for you.

I wish I didn’t feel this way.

My heart flutters, breathing you in.

 

I wonder if everyone can see my truths

in the dimmed light. I’m raw and exposed,

I feel obvious. Deceitful.

This brand new friendship put on a precipice

because I want you, I want you, and it’s wrong.

 

Band of gold burning, guilt searing through me.

You take for granted that I’m happy, I am,

but you’ve taken me over.

The disco lights twinkle on your sparkling lashes

and I burn again, wanting.

 

You have another vodka and diet coke, we dance and sing

and get drunk, you don’t think you’ll remember a thing.

I drink and drink but I know I’ll remember every moment,

I soak you up, happy,

delight in my time with you.

 

You grab my hand and intertwine your fingers in mine

and tell me about your heartache, while my own heart aches

at your innocent touch. Rest your head upon my shoulder,

while you wish for someone to kiss your lips.

I stroke your hair and my eyes burn.

The End

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