and when we’re thirty we will laugh
at our youth
at how we felt
at how the world ended around us
but for now we stand in the ruins
and we weep.
it is a while since i wrote that
i wonder what i was thinking
and then i remember
because it’s what i’m thinking now.
at this age a cut is a deep wound
an argument is a fight
a break-up is a scandalous divorce
and we can do nothing without someone
making some remark
about how they would never have expected it
from someone like us.
a constant spotlight on our lives
and we’re not
i feel like i am too young for this
yet without it i cannot grow up
and i feel like i should blame you
but at the same time it’s my fault
it’s all my fault
everything is my fault
and it shouldn’t have got to this point
it’s too out of control
and that is because of me.
i’m sorry then
for blaming you
and for telling the others
that it was you.
for hating you and ranting at you
when i did this.
and the world is rebuilding itself around me
but you have fallen.
you were the sacrifice i made
to move on.