There was a young man from Cork
who was stabbed in the knee with a fork
he pulled it right out
and his knee filled with gout
ohh that silly young man from Cork!
There once was a maiden from Liss
who tempted young men with a kiss
then she'd run right away
whilst they searched night and day
oh that young sporting lady from Liss!
there once was a man from Kiltyre
who thought it was time to retire
so he bought a nice house
complete with a mouse
oh that lucky old man from Kiltyre!
There was a young lad in the Army
who's wife said was totally barmy
he went home on leave
a good whack he recieved
as his wife thought he'd been far too smarmy
There once was a boy from New York
who drew out a map in some chalk
he said here's where it ends
right next to the bends
oh that artistic young boy from New York!
There once was a maiden from Shaw
who hid handcuffs and chains in her draw
when questioned in court
she gave a great snort
and ran out with her jeans filled with straw
There once was a man from Rochdale,
who ventured outside in some hail
he turned black and blue
and got hit with the flue
ohh that silly old man from Rochdale!
There once was a fish in a boat
who said "Hey I think I'm afloat!"
It swam round and round
scared it'd drowned
ohh that silly old fish in a boat!
there once was a doctor in China
who's patients described as a whiner
he'd look up and down
then sit back and frown
oh that judgemental doctor from China!