hating the sky like a canvas hates rain

people say, 
"Can you stop being such a pessimist?"

and all i want to tell them 
is that no, i've used up my optimism for the day
and now i'm tired
because my brain floods with news articles
that my parents will never read

but this is my generation, 
and as such i shoulder the duty 
of realizing that just because i'm safe
doesn't mean other people are. 

so yes, i'm a little damn bitter. 
because even though these days
my smile is neatly folded into a firm line, 
and my eyes shutter closed at will, 
my face settling into stone, 
i wasn't always that way. 

and i've chosen to remember
when i was younger and stupid
and i regret mostly everything i did. 
fall in love, fall down stairs, fall into disenchantment. 

it's a running cycle, 
and my legs are breaking down. 

but that's okay, i suppose, 
because i'm too dull to hate anything, 
but at least i can feel something.

The End

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