There’s animal living underneath the deck.
It might be a raccoon or an opossum.
There are no possums in North America.
And they don’t hang upside down.
Possums do but not opossums.
They can’t anyway they are too big and fat.
Like an obese rat…
I’ll send you a picture.
If I had a dog that ugly I’d shave its ass and make it walk backwards.
Your father started smoking again.
He can stay outside with the opossum.
Both have red blotchy eyes.
He thinks I don’t know he’s been smoking the wacky tobbacy.
As long as he uses the ash tray.
I wish he’d get a picture of the opossum while he was out there though.
He keeps taking pictures of his fingers.
For someone who works with tools…
I swear, the man is as deft a tool.