Dancers and Musicians

A chance for all the musicians to hang out ... and yes, share musician jokes.

Even triangle players are welcome.

I've got a couple of jokes here ....

Why did the triangle cross the road?
Because he wanted to tri a new angle.

What's a traditional greeting between guitarists?
Hi, I'm better than you.

How do you know if a drummer's at your door?
The knock speeds up.

and one more for now ...

What do you do if there is a musician on your doorstep?
Pay him and take the pizza.

Okay, your turn.

Del

I like this idea Del :)

I'm a guitarist but your's was funny :)

I know this one:

What do you call a guitarist who breaks up with his girlfriend?
Homeless...

:D

-CharlieRoberts

True, true. My brother plays guitar.

How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?
Take the pizza hut sign off the roof.

Are we musicians just going to be degrading ourselves here?

What the hell, I might as well join in...

What's the difference between a fiddle and a violin ?
Who cares - neither one's a guitar

What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?
A Flat Miner

Bad jokes are the best x]

Hehe so of these are pretty good. Bad pun jokes ftw :)

What do you call the dude who hangs out with the band?
The Drummer.

Two tourists were walking through a graveyard looking at all the old tombstones when they heard a strange noise. After listening a while they made out that it was Beethoven's 5th Symphony but it was being played backwards. Just then one of the caretakers walked past and they asked him about it.

"Oh he's just decomposing."

Waiting for musical discussion

Alright you want some musical discussion I've got a moderately serious question. How do you feel about covers of your favorite bands?

For example, I resisted watching "Across the Universe" for a long time because I'd heard some of the songs and I was like "YOU RUINED THE BEATLES YOU EVIL PEOPLE!" I can get a bit emotional about music. I had a friend who is the lead singer of a band use a phrase once that I loved "blood music" and I like to think that I perhaps have music for blood lol. Then someone sat me down and essentially FORCED me to watch it. I'm not sorry he did, it was a great movie and the way the songs were handled fit with the story even if they weren't authentic Beatles.

So I ask again, bands doing covers and changing up your favorite artists... how do you feel about this?

@GoldenLilac Google is your friend: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stradivarius.
From the into to the article:
A Stradivarius is a violin or other stringed instrument built by a member of the Stradivari family, particularly Antonio Stradivari. According to their reputation, the quality of their sound has defied attempts to explain or reproduce, though this belief is controversial. The name "Stradivarius" has also become a superlative applied to designate excellence. To be called "the Stradivari" of any field is to be deemed the finest there is.

I really want a Strad. Unfortunately, I don't have a large number of thousands of pounds, more's the pity.

What do you call 500 tuba players up to their necks in sand?
Insufficient sand.

Man, I have a whole BOOK of musician jokes. I can keep going for hours .....

I notice no singers have chimed in,are not we vocalists musicians as well?

...lol chimed, I didn't even mean for that to happen

Anyway :P any singers floating out there in the inter-webs

...der :P spiderwriter...interwebs....I'm sorry, I'm a goofy kind of mood

@spiderwriter Actually I'm a singer as well. I sang in my school choir from Grade 4-12, I was a 1st soprano/descant. In grade 11 and 12 I was part of the chamber choir and the soloist for the entire choir :) Right now I sing lead in a blues/rock band, although my insane schedule is making that difficult.

I play instruments as well though. Played the flute to begin with, switched to oboe in Grade 9 (LOVE IT) and I also play the piano.

@GoldenLilac Oh I would NOT like that! There's certainly a place for mass choir, we did a few performances where the younger grade choirs were included. They learned the songs in their own practices and then joined us for one or two before the concert.

I think what I miss the most are the competitions and the music festivals. I took voice lessons outside of the regular choir and would compete on a fairly regular basis. And every other year our choir would go on a road trip to this HUGE music festival where schools from all over Canada would get together, compete in different categories, and also sing in a joint choir. Imagine singing in a choir with 1000+ people who were all competent vocalists? We'd be given some music ahead of time that we could learn, and then two or three songs would be given to us the day we arrived, leaving us with 3 days to learn it perfectly!

Ahh, good times.

Wow, this has been more popular than I thought ....!

Seriously, don't any of you go to school? I mean, I'm ill here, I'm allowed to be on in the middle of the day...

Oh, wait, you don't live in UK. My bad.

:)

I'm just about to do a blog post about this corner hee hee. If anyone ever went on my blog, which they don't (hint hint?), they might join us ...

@GoldenLilac Hehe I went to a private school too! Complete with kilts, knee high stockings and cardigans XD We were pretty small too, about 150 students from K-12 so our HS choir wasn't that big. Probably about 30-50 I would imagine.

For things like a choir, small is better if making it larger causes it to lose quality. At least if you plan on competing or anything like that IMHO. The chamber choir was awesome because it was 8 people: 2 sops, 2 altos, 2 tenors and 2 bass. You had to audition to get in if there was a spot available, if not... too bad have to wait.

So there was this small-town symphony orchestra, you see. And they enjoyed playing Beethoven's Ninth Symphony. And the local patrons really enjoyed hearing it, so they performed it quite often.

Problem was, the double-bass players only had a short part at the beginning and another short part at the end (just work with me on this, okay?), so they were really bored for most of the performance. So what they did was sneak out the back of the auditorium, zip round the corner, and pop into the local pub for a couple o' brew.

This worked fairly well for them, but they did have a few close calls with getting back to the auditorium in time for their last bit. So they put their heads together to come up with a better system. And this is what they came up with:

They attached a long piece of string to the conductor's sheet music, about five pages before their last bit, ran the string out the back of the auditorium, around the corner, and into the pub. They draped the other end of the string over a chair and tied a small bell to it. That way, when the conductor turned that page, the bell would ring, and they would know they had five pages before their part came up. (Again, work with me here.)

Well, this new system worked quite well. A bit too well, in fact. They got a little overconfident in their ability to return on time, and one night they had a few too many brewskies. They became rather... relaxed.

Are you still with me? Just to summarize where we are here:

It's the bottom of the Ninth, the score is tied, and the bassists are loaded.

ROFL - I stayed with you!

:} Elorithryn

I can't believe I still remember that joke. I heard such a very long time ago.

I don't get it ...

@delorfinde It's a massive pun on baseball. Excellent joke Faltar :)