Critiques Wanted

I'd like a critique and some feedback on the longest poem I've ever written (Don't worry it's not that long, I'd estimate under 200 lines) and probably the most serious one, both in terms of content and the attempt at writing. (Also it wont be finished until 7th July)

A brief introduction, it's about an imaginary victim of the 7th July bombings in London of 2005 so it is kind of an Elegy.

I suppose what I'd like to know is what you guys think of my writing style and poetic voice, do I achieve anything here or is it a waste of time? What am I doing right and what am I doing wrong? Is it emotive enough, are the middle sections right, appropriate? Do the storylines make sense. Any of these answered would be much appreciated.

Here's the link:
http://www.protagonize.com/poem/spirit-of-london