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Groups » Critiques Wanted » Discussion » Critiques wanted for "KoC ~ Knights Of Concordia"
Critiques Wanted

Critiques Wanted

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JeanneAntoinetteDoyle

Critiques wanted for "KoC ~ Knights Of Concordia"

Posted by JeanneAntoinetteDoyle on May 21, 2012

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JeanneAntoinetteDoyle
JeanneAntoinetteDoyle
posted May 21, 2012
This is my first story, which i need some critic, the two biggest points i'm trying to get advice on are;

1) Story Development; mine is a fantasy, action / adventure but it's a slow and steady pace dstory, first giving character background or introducting the main character's past. I wanted to know like if it's too slow paced? does it need to be speed up? or just more interesting more action/hooks?

2) Dialogue; at first i wanted to make this world, where they have kind of an aussie accent, since it's a bit medevil like I tried to ster away from the classic english. But it's a bit weak. Most I want to know your thoughts on the character's dailogue not only the accent but how i can improve, I think that's my greatest weakness.

http://www.protagonize.com/story/koc--knights-of-concordia
JeanneAntoinetteDoyle
JeanneAntoinetteDoyle
posted May 26, 2012
EDITTED: I've editting my story based on a few reviews, I looking for critiques on the new revised version, before I really get into the story (action part).

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