I've been here about two weeks, so I guess it's time to open myself up and prepare for some painful truths.

I have a story ** Scenes From The Blackout (currently in the 6th Chapter) that can be found here http://www.protagonize.com/story/scenes-from-the-blackout

I've got a job for two different types of commenters.....

I'm looking to have someone with more grammatical skill review the work.

And I am also looking for a critique of the content.

Aspects of a story line that are important to me are:

Can the reader follow the story?
Is the story descriptive enough or to much?
Is the story boring or does it have so much going on in a scene that you can't keep up?
Are the characters true to their nature, can you get a feel for their personalities?
Can you feel emotion behind the words or does seem monotone?

I hope you get the general idea. Basicly if you don't like something, Let me know why or point me to a line or a general idea thats amiss so I can make corrections.
If you just say you don't like it, I'll be in the same situation as i'm in right now.

"Clueless"

I've got thick enough skin, I won't take it personal, promise.