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Short Story (About Ten SHORT Post) Critques wanted..

Short Story (About Ten SHORT Post) Critques wanted..
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posted Jan 28 by Maggie4ever
So my short story, The Dairy Of A Dead Girl, is going to be short and sad. It follows Emily Jones, a hit and run vitcim who dies and watches her family and the after math of her short life. I really want feedback on the story, so I can tips for my new stories.

http://www.protagonize.com/story/the-dairy-of-a-dead-girl/171348 Be knid please, I'm only 12 :)

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