Hey. This is my first proper story on this and would like some help if possible. Its about supernatural creatures; vampires, witches, werewolves, etc.

Please Help If Possible
Thanxx

XxxJordanSmithxxX


http://www.protagonize.com/story/beasts-of-the-night-world

http://www.protagonize.com/story/chicken-scratch

True story... it's got a bit of everything: death, murder, love, lost, and chickens. Yeah, I'm crazy. Any questions?

http://www.protagonize.com/story/the-ice-family

I wrote a poem for my mom for Christmas. I really need it check a.s.a.p., but if you don't check it in time for Christmas, please have a look at it anyways!!

THANK YOU!!!!! A MILLION TIMES THANK YOU!!!!

http://www.protagonize.com/story/dear-mommy

Hi i just wanna ask people what they think of this.

http://www.protagonize.com/story/live-again

Sigh, same old, same old.

This being the first serious piece I've written thus far, I suppose it deserves serious feedback (that was a joke to myself). Criticism welcome - actually, begged.

http://www.protagonize.com/story/in-the-eyes-of-a-fevered-stalker

Again, if it's not too much trouble, would people please have a look at this?

http://www.protagonize.com/story/the-winter-game

I'm not going to pretend it's any good, because it isn't, but if people would give me some advice on how to make it vaguely worth reading?

I know that's a bit of a tall order though, but if there is anyone who's really, really bored... thanks :)

The girl with the big blue eyes.
I had loads of ideas. I wrote the first chapter. Now what? I have absolutely no idea where to go with this story. I don't know if it should be non-fiction or if I should spice it up a little with maybe a ghost or two. critisism much appreciated... and needed!! much love Tilzaey xox

http://www.protagonize.com/story/the-girl-with-the-big-blue-eyes

Hi to all! I've just published a new story called Born to Die. It's about a girl who is born but dies straight away. She deserves this live and she returns to the inbetween to see who made this mistake. It would be great if you could look at it, post some ideas/feedback, and maybe even another chapter!

http://www.protagonize.com/story/born-to-die

Happy New Year to all!!

Hey guyss. I started a new story, its called "The Ice Family." its....fairly new. i could use some critique. There are only two chapters but still. I could really use it.

http://www.protagonize.com/story/the-ice-family

thanks. <33

Can someone give me some feedback on my story it's kind of a weird thing.
http://www.protagonize.com/story/polyester-bear

COLLABORATIVE CORNER IS FEATURED FOR THIS WEEK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

I know everyone is busy with their own stuff, but if someone could lend a bit of feedback, I'd appreciate it.

Thanks.

http://www.protagonize.com/story/the-trouble-with-ufos

* Deleted as a topic and moved here

I've written a story that is unique, as far as I know, in how it is told (It's probably been done before, I just don't know where). It is presented as the written transcription of an audio tape. The story is told almost entirely in dialogue, and so I spent a lot of time trying to make it seem as believable as I could.

I wrote it almost a year ago and it's been sitting in my writing folder collecting dust bytes ever since. I thought I would give it a try on Protagonize.

If you'd like to read it, please let me know if you found the method of storytelling effective or irritating and forgettable. Also, please note it contains profuse mature language and themes, and is certainly not intended for children.

http://www.protagonize.com/story/puppeteer

Also looking for a little feedback . . .

It's kind of like an alien invasion story, inspired by the movie Aliens in the Attic. I hope that it's an okay read at the least. . . .

http://www.protagonize.com/story/invasion-1

http://www.protagonize.com/story/the-modern-disease

Could I please have some thorough critique? I'd like to improve it.

Hello,
I am no where near finishing this story yet, but I was wondering if you could comment and tell me if I am doing well so far because I don't want to continue in the direction it is going if It is not very good.
Thankyou

http://www.protagonize.com/story/bullets-and-butterflies

http://www.protagonize.com/story/the-house-2

Heres a link to my supernatural roleplay story, there's more info on the page if you take a look, thanks!

http://www.protagonize.com/story/kids-in-slavery

looking for people to read... its about kids that are in slavery and have a dream to be free...

opinions are appreciated :))