I’d watched as Luca left with a small bag for any extra supplies that he could pick up. I felt the worry that had already been sitting in the base of my stomach from Joe going, rise up again. I watched him to the end of the ally before pulling myself back inside and pulling the door closed behind me. Fantastic, stuck alone with Scott for however long it takes. I sighed and crept back into the front room, sitting on the table in the corner. I looked up as Scott came in, looking angry.
“What does he have that I don’t? That’s all I want to know,” He snapped.
“He’s not a pig headed fool,” I snapped back, angry with him for everything. Joe mostly but also all the other shit he'd done over he past few weeks.
“What?”He stepped forward to me.
“He wouldn’t have tried to push Joe out. He would have gone for the supply run himself,” I felt a little scared but I had to get this out. “You’ve just been a complete arse ever since he got here and I’m sick and tired of it. Im sick and tired of you pushing joe around,arguing with Luca all the time.”
Scott practically threw himself at me. Pushing me to the floor and grabbing my wrists, pressing me down. “Don’t you dare talk to me like that,” He growled pressing me ever harder to the floor, pushing my legs down with his.
I closed my eyes, my mind racing with flash backs and fear. Oh god, not again. I pulled up the ever familiar walls. Blocking out what was going on and just letting it all go.
* * *
I crawled up the stairs, feeling sick and achy. I locked myself in the upstairs room, shaking and crying, unable to think or feel anything other than the hard wood of the door at my back and the cold floor beneath me. I couldn’t let myself think about what had just happened, I had to just put it behind that wall, the same one that I kept all my other memories that I couldn’t deal with without breaking down.
It wasn’t for a few hours, when I heard the door downstairs bang and Luca and Joes voices float upstairs that I managed to drag myself out of the fog that I’d clouded my thoughts with and go back downstairs, to face him, and to pretend everything was ok again.
“I am victorious. I told you I’d be fine,” Luca grinned, showing off the stuffed back packs that they’d bought back. He leaned into me, a celebration kiss. My heart rate rose and I ducked out of his arms, feigning going to investigate the bags. “Hey what’s up?” He asked, coming down beside me.
“Nothing. I’m fine,” Time for the mask. The one I thought I’d been able to put away. But I wasn’t quick enough with it. My facade slipped and I answered way to sharply.
He moved back a bit, giving me some much needed space. “If you say so,”
I felt bad for that. I needed to get my game face back on. I pulled back into the corner of the room, sitting with my back to the walls in an attempt to protect myself from everything. I pulled my knees up to my chest and zoned out, attempting to reconstruct the wall in my mind. Pushing everything back down and closing the hatch, chaining it all back up. I barely noticed anyone else. I think out of the corner of my eye I vaguely noticed Luca looking upset again and Scott supporting a sick sort of smug grin.
I barely registered anything until Luca sat directly in front of me, almost forcing me to look at him. I broke out of my daze, hoping that my mental barricade would hold. I avoided Luca’s gaze, scared that I would just break down in front of him. I felt hurt, and anger fill me.
“What happened?” I heard rather than saw the scowl in his voice.
I swallowed back the ever encroaching tears. “Nothing, I’m fine.” My voice was still a little shaky but my act was working, or at least I thought it was.
“Yeah you really look it,” His voice again, holding that tone of a scowl.
It broke through the barriers, the ones that I had worked so hard at pushing back into place and the tears began to flow. “Scott.... He...” I couldn’t even finish the sentence, the sobs choking me in an effort to break free all at once. Luca looked over at Scott, pure anger and hatred burning in his eyes, a clear message that something was going to happen. But for now he just turned back to me and wrapped his arms round me holding me against him while I tried desperately to compose myself.
I looked down at my hands, trying to find something to focus on, when I noticed the deep red marks around my wrists, I pulled at my sleeves to cover them as best I could but it was too late. Luca tensed, noticing them.
“w-what are you going to do?” I chocked out, scared by his reaction.
I was terrified, not just for Luca, but for myself “I can’t be near him anymore. He hurt me Luca,” I hated him for that.
Hi gently pressed his lips against the top of my head. “What d’you want me to do? I know what I want to do,” I knew as well. I could almost feel the rage filling him.
“Just het him gone,” I knew what I wanted to happen now. Scott was dangerous. I looked up at Luca, pleading him to do it. “I don’t care how you do it, just get him away from me,”
“Go upstairs,” Luca said roughly. I nodded, hugging him tightly so that he knew I wouldn’t think any less of him because of this. I got Joe and pushed him upstairs. “Come on. Let’s go sort out what you got,” We clambered up the stairs as Luca went over to Scott. I pushed open the door and all but dragged Joe inside, pulling it closed behind me.
We had just begun to unpack when the crashing began downstairs. Then came the screams, from just outside. We pretended not to hear but every scream pierced through me making me flinch.