Sophia: A ChanceMature

I went back to work on the food, my mind a storm of different emotions.

Clearly I had been stupid enough to think I had actually managed to be any part of his life really. I always did this, fell for the broken or hurt guys thinking that maybe I could help them and be someone they could seek comfort in, but as always it just ended up with me getting hurt and them getting angry again.

I just couldn't understand why he couldn't being himself to trust me, especially when there was next to nobody else around these days. I had given him no reason not to after all. I'd given and told him everything.

I caught a glance at him as I lowered the pot of stew over the fire to cook but I wasn't going to let on how I felt, not now. I turned to Scott, "take it off the fire in a few hours and it should be fine. Bowls and things are under the workbench." I instructed him emotionlessly

"where will you be?" he asked, confusion and worry lining his voice.

"I'm going for a walk, I'll be back later." I  raised my voice ever so slightly to make sure the others could hear it, namely Luca, "I need to clear my head,"

Before he, or anyone could object I grabbed my bow and a gun and took off deeper into the woods away from the town.

After a while I found the spot I'd been looking for and climbed one of the trees to find a small hollow where I'd kept my old sketch pad and drawing equipment. Before, when the mess had all just started and we had come to the camp, I'd hide here at night when the nightmares got too bad, with a torch and my sketch pad I'd spend the entire night until dawn here. I sighed and flicked through it, I'd need a new one soon, this one was beginning to run out. I began working on a new piece, one of Luca the morning at the shop when I'd woken up next to him, I smiled at the memory as I sketched his soft features and the calm relaxed look that he never had when awake. He almost looked vulnerable.

About halfway though drawing I heard a rustle of leaves from below and I quickly stashed away my things drawing out my gun as I dropped down from the tree, back to the trunk to make sure nothing could sneak up on me. I looked round as Luca appeared from out of the bushes, "what the hell do you think you're doing here?" I asked unsure as to whether I was annoyed at him for following me or glad that he did.

He just shrugged "I'll go if you want,"

I was surprised at the emotions that brought up in me. "no, don't. Might as well stay now you're here," I slid the gun back into its holster and shoved my hands into my pockets feeling awkward. I had no idea where we stood now, If I was honest I just wanted things to be ok again but how could we be back together when he didn't even trust me?

He gave me the smallest of smiles as I slipped my gun away and asked, "we're you about to shoot me?"

I wasn't going to lie I nearly shrugged "didn't realise it was you. Although to be honest even when I did it was slightly tempting," I smirked a bit thinking about what had been running through my mind when I saw him,

He laughed at that "I seem to have that effect on people,"

I wonder why, I thought to myself sarcastically. I wandered over to him, not really liking the space between us after so long spent apart. "so, why did you follow me?" if I'm honest I was hoping for him to explain his inability to trust, I didn't expect him to but I hoped he would.

"I never managed to spit out the apology I meant to earlier"

My hopes shattered however it was a start. "oh, well its ok. We both said some things back there. It wasn't all your fault. I'm sorry too, for running off," I sighed, just wanting us to get back together and be able to sort things out again.

He just nodded  making no sign that he wanted the same "thanks. I... Just wanted to say sorry that I don't trust you. Like I said, it's nothing personal"

"well.... Maybe... Maybe we could work on it? I mean... Only if you still want to of corse?" I looked at the floor, unsure if I could handle it if he'd decided against trying things out with me.

"I can try. I'm not making any promises, though. 23 years is a long time for habits and ways of seeing things to set."

That was more than I'd hoped for "I understand," I could feel the smile spreading across my lips as I looked back up at him and slipped my hand back into his "all I'm asking for is a chance,"

He returned the grip "it should be me asking that,"

The End

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