IF YOU ARE ATTEMPTING TO CONVICT ME WITH THE INFORMATION I AM ABOUT TO DISCLOSE, PLEASE ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE.... ESCORTED OUTSIDE BY MY GAURDS, OR ELSE.
First name: "Jellyface" Johny
Last name: Flouiderschniden
Age: Those idiots in the CIA has it on file that I am 56- I am 6
Date of birth: It kind of depends which demension/universe I've snuck into to destroy, but it's usually equivalent to AD 2000- ish
Appearance: Your average baby face, with soft blue eyes, a wisp of light brown hair, and pudgy cheeks. I potty trained myself within a few weeks of birth, basically I wear completely normal formal attire, except that my size requires... special tailoring. With the money I've collected through "buisness", paying for simple thigs like a wardrobe is no problem.
About me: My family is kept safe from the government in a model town far underground where they live in constant luxury. Most of my profits come from stealing huge amounts of things and then forcing people to buy my "products" at exorbant prices. I gained controll of my first gang after a day or so of intensive training in several diffent areas- captivating a crowd, Judo, and usage of a handgun, along with other reliable methods of persuasion. After my learning, I followed a few shadowy looking men who all had the same tatoo into an old apartment block on still wobbly legs, and then launched into my speech before the idiots could wonder what was going on. Of course, they complied like the dogs they were. In a few weeks, dowtown of that dismal speck of a city was ours. My orginasation has a ranking system of birds. Normal thugs are hatchlings, their leaders are mama birds, their leaders are poppa birds, etc. I call myself the Owl; they are majestic creatures, inteligent, swift, and deadly. All the hatchlings and mommas in one area think that there is only one poppa bird, and the poppa bird knows there are others of his kind, but imagines that there is only one person more senior than he. This is partially to keep the morons in blue completely leadless and partially to keep acountability in my own ranks. That is all.