Raven buried her family two weeks prior, and now she just buried her husband. She has nothing left, why couldn't she have died with them. The pain was unbearable, can Raven overcome her depression? Or will she Give in to the darkness.
I stood straight as a board in the dark green grass, the large oak and cottonwood trees encasing the landscape. A soft hush was spoken as the trees rustled and whistled in the afternoon air, the wind kissing my exposed skin as it blew through my raven black hair. I was surrounded by nature, old and new friends and what was left of family, but I have never felt more alone. I stared at the dark soil that was being tossed on top of the casket, I could no longer see, the tears I was trying to fight back this whole time was beginning to cloud my vision. The sound of the dirt hitting the coffin echoed loudly, it seemed as if that was the only thing I could hear thump, thump, thump. No I refuse to cry in front of everyone, I have to be strong. I took a sharp breath in as people began to walk away from the funeral.
“I am so sorry for your loss, it will get better okay sweetie.”
Was the phrase that was repeated throughout everyone’s departure, how can they tell me it will get better when I had nothing left? There condolences felt more like a slap in the face the more I was told it, during everyone’s words my eyes never left the grave that was now filled with dirt. I felt my best friend squeeze my hand tightly before letting go and walking away.
“I’ll be in the car waiting, take your time Raven.” She said her steps retreating to the cobblestone path, clicking away as she approached the car. I could feel my pain gathering in my throat as I walked closer to the grave.
Here lies Danny Davis
Beloved Son, friend and Husband
May you go with God
I took sharp quick breaths but nothing was helping, my sadness was taking over, I hyper ventilated as I collapsed to my knees.
“No, no this is a nightmare, wake up, wake up. Danny, No come back to me. Please come back!” I screamed my voice cracking as my tears fell down my face, this isn’t fair. I continued to sob, my crying so strong it was wracking my body forward, it was as if no air was getting to my lungs, they were beginning to burn as I cried harder.
“Oh honey, shhh it’s okay.” I heard a familiar voice say to me as I was pulled back against a warm chest.
“No it’s not Namine! This isn’t fair, why did God have to take him from me!” I shouted as she held me tightly around my shoulders and rocked me back in forth, she was the only one I could cry in front of besides Danny.
“It was simply his time to go-“
“No don’t tell me that bullshit! We were in the car together, yet here I am and there he is. Why didn’t he take me instead?!” I screamed pulling out of Namine’s embrace and touching his headstone.
“Because God asked for him, Danny died to protect his wife: you. You should be grateful you are still alive!” She shouted her stern blue eyes glaring at me, I wiped away the tears and looked at her.
“Grateful, you want me to be grateful. LOOK Around Namine, all of my family is buried here. Just two weeks ago I buried my mother, father and brother and now my husband! How am I supposed to be grateful when I have nothing left?!”
“You have me, we are like sisters! Your family was my family too, you’re not the only one who lost them!” She screamed at me, I took deep breaths in as I sat on the grass, my makeup now successfully making my face as black as the clothes I wore.
“It should have been me, I begged him to go with me to that stupid work event- if I- I” I stammered over myself as I pulled my knees up to my chest clutching them tightly. She sighed and sat directly in front of me her light blue eyes peering into my bloodshot eyes.
“Sweetie, we just have to take it one step at a time, now come on. I’ll take you home and we can watch your favorite movie, Pans Labyrinth.” She sad smiling softly holding her hands out as she stood up, I let out a sigh and took her up on her offer as we silently walked toward her Mustang.