February 9th, 2013 - Perhaps AloneMature

I wonder if I should tell them.
A disclaimer, a 'by the way'.
This is not all that I am,
but it dominates my mind.

It will pass, I tell myself:
The intensity and strength
Of feelings inside me,
And I will be able to rest.

Even so, I want to say it.
Out loud, not on paper.
I want them to know me.
I'm afraid of what they'll say.

Would they be wary of me,
Fear me or avoid my gaze,
If they knew what I was?
Perhaps they would hate me.

I do not think I can say it,
Not without losing them.
It would change the balance
And comfort of friendship.

Words on paper are not the same
As speaking aloud to someone.
As ... confessing, as though
I have committed a crime.

I do not think like all of you.
That is not illegal, though.
That is not a sin, yet
You are shocked as if it were.

Are there others like me
In this room -- hiding?
Do others know about them,
and am I alone in my fear?

Perhaps I am just alone.

The End

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