Love, Relationships, Heartbreak, Moving On
I remember the night we first met, almost as if we only lived it yesterday. Jan '08.
The moment you caught my eye... i felt it... that feeling i've never felt since, my heart literally skipped a beat, tearing at my chest cavity i could feel the swarm of summer butterflies fluttering deep inside my stomach.
We walked and talked and i was 16 and trying to impress you... that first kiss it blew me away like a hurricane making landfall for the first time... that was it my mind, my heart it was yours.
As we progressed deeper and faster into our relationship it became apparent that several people disapproved.
You were forced by your family to make a choice, like they still do now... restricting you and holding you back, turning you more and more into a rebellious invalid than the smart, handsome endearing person i met... you chose your family over your fiancé.
I moved on 4 years of hell and you knowing how i still felt and you still wanting to protect me... and after that four years we still were drawn back together like to magnets... we were opposites that attracted like the south and north nodes colliding.
We became an item again, it was difficult but deep and passionate, the lies to keep our relationship secret killed me inside.. then when we found out the news to change our lives, we always wanted it a family!
It was DeJaVu all over again! i didn't think of it then... when you walked out and you left me... left US... the comments you made out of fear and out of so many other underlying reasons...
Our Beautiful baby was born and you didn't even believe she was yours! I was expecting it i knew it was coming because each and every time you say you feel something you LIE! You always LIE to make yourself feel better!! I have only ever been faithful to you! and RUMOURS!! What FUCKING RUMOURS!! I LOVED YOU!! I wanted it to be forever... i was so fucking delusional i believed you were being truthful and that you meant it!! But NO!! You are so fucking full of shit you make me so fucking angry!!!!!
You have seen her twice! What happened to i'll be in touch to visit next week?
SHE IS YOUR FIRST YOU WILL NEVER REPLACE HER!! You wouldn't even dare too!
I saw it in your eyes both times you love her and you want to build with her but THEY are holding you back just like they always hold you back!
So guess what 3 months later and i am finally fucking moving on! I couldn't give a fuck about you anymore! there will always be a part of my heart that belongs to you but i am fucking done! This is the end of your crap and treating me like crap...
Go Ahead BE Lonely, Unhappy, Drunk every night because you know what you walked away from!
A Loving girlfriend, a wonderful home, a beautiful daughter...
WHAT FOR! Some fucking party girl 4 years younger covered in piercings and tattoos...
Even Peter pan had to grow up!