I saw him leave that... Samantha whatever’s place and sighed to myself, people just throw themselves away to any disgusting creature that promises them sin, long gone were the days when I got to hunt their kind and the whores they slept with – I still have my sabre, coated with the blood of those heathens. I knew he was coming this way, I knew that although there were other ways he could go, he would torture me by walking past my garage.
I decided to ignore him, but I knew the child couldn’t resist. He was lucky I was no longer sanctioned to hunt his kind, the war was over, we no longer ran the Vatican and the place had gone to the humans. If I was to kill him, I would be torn apart by the elders, not that there are that many of them left.
“Well, if it isn’t my favourite douche bag,” he murmured, his pungent smell only meaning he was getting closer.
I didn’t look up from the old Porsche I was fixing and replied with a simple: “if it isn’t my favourite walking corpse,” which was answered with the car bonnet slamming on my fingers. I yowled, and pulled them out, just because I couldn’t kill him didn’t mean I could pull off a few digits.
“You’re lucky I’m busy or you’d be screwed BOY,” I growled, as he rubbed my nose in the fact of where had just came from, of course I already knew, I could smell it on him. Nothing like the smell of necrophilia in the evening, not that me telling him it was a crime bothered him though. “You best get going before I tear you a new one.”
He laughed, “you’re not fast enough, old man.”
“I am stronger than you though and on a full moon I could easily tear you apart,” though I never would.
“Stronger, but slower, you’d never catch me,” he lit a cigarette and I stared at him, stood near petrol... besides his stupidity, he was right, if I caught him unawares I would get him easily but vampires are a lot faster, they’re slender like Cheetahs, where we have all the muscle. Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t want to be a vampire, I’d rather have brains and brawn than speed.
"Are you trying to kill yourself? You know fire isn't good for you and I'd definitely kill you if you set this place alight,” I snarled and finished up on the motor which would’ve taken me half the time had I not had this nuisance here.
“You need to get laid,” he laughed taking another drag on his cigarette.
"What makes you think I don't?" I closed the bonnet and folded my arms staring at him.
"You wouldn't be so fucking uptight all the time if you had some."
"You're a fucking childish leech that won't leave me alone, why would I not be uptight to you?"
"You're just jealous of my sexual prowess,” he smirked and I sighed. I had put up with him too many years to go for him when he was being this immature, eventually the sun would threaten to come up and he would have to leave, which wouldn’t be too far away I don’t think.
"Of course, 'cause I want to sleep with little whores like her, did you even know her name?"
"Nope. And she barely knew mine. Sex with strangers is the best kind." The birds began singing and the music was heaven to my ears.
"The nightingale's singing corpse."
He flicked ash at me and I snarled, "Whatever man.”
"That's your cue to leave, though; I would enjoy seeing you go up in flames." If he wouldn’t take my place with him.
"I'm tempted to burn this place down just to watch you get angry. I like it when you get angry," this almost made me smile, and I thought I was getting soft. The day I smile at his adolescent jokes is the day I put myself in the ground.
I growled, "FUCKING LEAVE," I shouted and began to charge at him and disappeared with a laugh. I’d have the last laugh.
I tidied up the shop and locked the place, before heading the opposite direction to the leech. I back-tracked his steps and wound up at the sleeping Samantha’s place. I may not be swift, but I can be light - I am a hunter after all. I might not be able to tear him to pieces... personally. “Shhh,” I hushed as I entered her room, “your soul will be cleansed by the justice your death will serve...”