"Come on Heather, just try it. One hit won't hurt you."
I sighed, pushing Rachel's hand away. "Oh please, so I can be stumbling around like you?" I retorted, raising an eyebrow and once again wondering why I hung out with this crowd. They were what people called rebels, or outcasts, with piercings, and colored hair. The very idea of them annoyed my current foster parents something shocking, which is why I had attached myself to them. However along with the look went less than savory activities, activities which, after growing up with my mother, I had no desire to partake in. I had seen just where that path could take you.
"Stop being so straight laced" Tommy slurred, draping an arm over my shoulder. I shrugged him off and stood up quickly. This party had gotten old fast.
"You guys feel free to take yourself into a moronic state but I'm out," I said forcefully, standing up. Tommy looked as if he was going to come with me but a glare from me had him in his spot again.
"Thats right. Run home then. You know you act so tough Heather but when it comes to the crunch you always walk. Your a freak, it's wonder no one ever keeps you" Rachel called after my retreating back.
I clenched my fists to my side, trying to stop myself from walking back and hitting the girl. I had been made to take anger management classes after the last time, and been told that it wouldn't be simply another change of foster home, it would be a court date if it happened again. Last thing I wanted was to drag my name before a judge, not with my family's history.
I had suggested to my worker about changing my name at one point. After all those people whose name I shared weren't my family. Sure I lived with them for the first few years of my life, but I had no love in my heart for them. And none of the people who had taken me in since had seemed to stand out as family material. Okay, so maybe after the first few years there were some who might have actually cared for me, but by that stage I had learnt that letting people get close, that believing they cared for you only got you hurt.
Before I knew it I was standing outside my current house. The Anderson's were a young couple. She couldn't have kids and so was determined to do her best with other children. He was willing to let her, but I could see that I tried his patience and so recently He had taken to letting her be the only one to deal with me. But I knew they had no idea what to do with me. They had tried at the start, but now it was all a constant battle. A quick smile crossed my face at the thought that in just 6 short months I would be an adult and able to get my own place, provided of course that I managed to stay out of trouble.
I glanced at my watch before opening the door. It was only just past midnight, an early night for me but I knew She would flip. She had instated a curfew only yesterday for 10.30 and here I was breaking it.
Sure enough, as soon as I stepped into the hallway a light went on in their room, and She came out. "What time do you think this is young lady?" she asked, her voiced strained as she glanced pointedly at the hall clock.
"Seven past 12" I replied, moving as if to push past her.
"Don't think your going to bed just yet Heather. We need to talk about this. I told you to be in by 10.30," she snapped, blocking my path.
"And I told you that hell would freeze over first," I replied angrily.
"I think I might need to have a talk to Sussanah about you," She said wearily, running a hand through her hand. "But just so you know we'll be confiscating your ipod in the morning. I'd ground you but you'd just sneak out again."
"Fine whatever," I retorted. "Can I go to bed now?"
She looked me up and down and then sighed. "Heather you don't need to do this you know. This 'I don't give a crap' act of yours is not needed. You don't need to keep pushing the line. I told you when you moved in that we were going to do our best for you and I meant it. Why won't you give us a chance?" She pleaded. I could see that she'd start crying again soon. I hated this moment, when she turned from shouting to pleading.
"That's what they all say," I muttered. She stepped back, so I could step past her to my room, watching me all the way. Maybe she was telling the truth, but other foster parents had told me that they were only after my best interests. I had learnt the hard way not to trust people.
Flipping the light switch I threw my bag in the corner of the room, before lying on the bed. I knew I should sleep. Tomorrow was a school day and I did try my best there, not to make any parents proud but because I genuinely believed that doing well in school was the best way to avoid my mothers life. Heck, I would even complete my homework on some of my late night wanderings.
Yet try as I might I could not sleep yet. Trouble sleeping was one of the side effects of the life I had lived so far, and one I wished I could change. Instead I moved off the bed to my bag, slipping out my ipod. Putting the headphones in my ears I laid back down and blasted the music, trying my hardest to drown out the past.