It stung like acid in my lungs: the breath that caught on the way out, as I saw Jerry being dragged from the lake.
Why did he do it?
I watched, speechless, as Ellie struggled to bring his limp body from the water. Tears streamed down her face, and I was just about grounded enough to feel matching tears on mine. That moment dragged for a lifetime. I always expected something like that to become a blur; too much for your brain to take in, so much so that it went by in an instant.
The night was agonisingly slow: it was as if I saw every blood-mingled water-droplet fall from Jerry in hyperfocus; as if the whirring lights of the ambulance whisking him and Ellie away, were bored into my mind...as if the time Nick and I took to reach the hospital by foot, was a lifetime.
Eventually we sat by his bedside, Ethan was there, although I'm not sure why. That was about the time my mind gave up trying to take it all in. It was as if it was all far away from me; like I was looking at them through the wrong end of a telescope. I clasped Nick's hand in mine like it was the last solid thing on earth...In that moment it was. Jerry was the last person I could have ever imagined attempting suicide.
And this had rocked the very foundations of my world...