Lately I have been having dreams where she is still alive. I have long periods of time where I can't remember anything. I start crying, and it goes blank. I wake up in the strangest of places and doing the weirdest of things. The worst of these times, I found myself bruised and bleeding at the bottom of a large hill, crying again.
Sometimes I wake up screaming her name. Just screaming her name, and crying my heart out, and I can't stop it.
Life has just become simply a living nightmare, nightmares at night, wake up, eat, think about Ally, and slip back into my nightmares at the end of the day. Why was she taken away from me?
I haven't talked to anyone since I found out, except in my dreams. My parents have told me that they hear me at night saying her name over and over, and crying. Why should I talk to anyone? The only person I want to talk to is Ally.
I loved her, and she has gone now.
Oh, I want her back! Why her?
My grades have been slipping at school lately, but I don't care.
Why should I? The only person I have ever loved, and ever will love has been ripped away from me.
I have a hunch Ethan did it.
But why would he? It was just a stain on his book!
But my mind keeps creating scenes where I kill Ethan, and the scarily sadistic thing is, I invite them in, and I enjoy them.
He got one of our friends to write notes and spy on us.
He told Ally to go drown herself in a toilet.
But to end someone's life? That's just pure evil.
And the worst part is, if he did do it, then I have broken my promise.
I've lost track of time, and lost all sense of myself. There's nothing left, except love for Ally, pure unadulterated grief for her death, and incredible hate for whoever did it.
I want her back.
The crying begins, and it all goes blank again.