Oh god, what's happening to me?
I dropped my head into my hands as the scene at the restaurant came whirling back to me. Me shouting, shoving Jerry against the table, Ally's confused, frightened eyes. I couldn't believe what I'd done. But I knew why I'd done it.
I was lonely. I always have been. Watching them, the way they all got on so well, it made me jealous. And there was more than just friendship between them. It was no secret, the way that Jerry felt about Ally. And it was obvious, too, about Nick and Julianna. I wanted to dismiss it as high school drama, close my eyes and forget about it, but I couldn't. Because I've felt that way too.
I jammed my eyes closed, trying so hard to banish the images that came unbidden to my mind. Her. The one girl I've ever felt anything for. But there was no future for us. There couldn't be, not now that she was gone. The one person, in the whole world, who understood me. The one who loved me.