When being a Loner...

It is wonderful at times. You get left to your own devices, and develop your many talents and build on your numerous interests. You can do whatever you want. People just learn to leave you be because you are not interested in social interaction.

Then there are the times. The times of darkness and despair. You're lonely, and all you want more than anything in the world is to just be embraced. But there is nobody around. No one to hug you. The deep crushing depression kicks in, you hate social interaction, you hate it like the plague. But you just wish, pray, hope, that someone, anyone, will walk through the door and hug you.

Your work means nothing either. You work, and work, but you will never get any recognition for it. You will get nobody who cares about your work. You will never be able to earn a decent living off your work. Because your social network is just too small to reach out to a sizable audience. 

On one hand, you sigh in relief. You don't want anyone criticizing your work. You would rather have them burn in eternal hellfire. but at the same time, you want recognition. You worked so hard, you want people to notice your accomplishments. But alas, you are alone.

Fighting with your depression and social anxiety. You wonder whether or not you are truly worth anything. Sometimes you cry before sleep, othertimes not. Is this the world that I want to live in? Can I change my fate without allocating myself to extroverted idiocy? Will I ever be able to make it in the world, despite my lack of social eptitude?

That is entirely up to me. That is my fate, and it is in my hands.

The End

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