Come on Blake, spill the beans. What's wrong with you? Your heartbeat is raised and the sound you hear is like a fast-paced tribal drum. You keep imagining yourself getting shot, over and over again. How does this even happen? This is the fantasy again isn't it? It's trying to tell you there's no point hiding there because venomous words of truth are just as likely to shoot you there as they are in reality. Stop lying to me. Stop lying to yourself. You can't argue, you simply can't. Name me one time when you've won an argument against somebody, even against yourself. Even though the words may have formed perfectly in your mind, when they emerge they come out like puked-up spinach. The most essential words will make you cringe as they crunch between your teeth, and the acrid, tear-worthy smell represents the quality of your case that appears to the person you're making your point to. Face it Blake, you are terrible with words face to face. Maybe I should remind you what you really wanted to say to all those who you have lost arguments to in the past.
1). Dear Dan,
The reason why I had to stop believing that we could still be friends was not simply because of Sam and Cole, but because you chose to believe their voice of popularity and unconcern rather than my voice of care and reason. You decided to think that there was nothing wrong with the infamous pair, that they didn't bully me and other targets in our school and that their games of not-so-pretend warfare were 'just a bit of fun'. One of them sits on my bus every morning with that steely glare fixed in his eyes. He's already in the cadets and I swear the moment he turns 16 he's going to war. He almost raped someone's mother in my neighbourhood Dan, almost. They made me cry with fear Dan, but mostly because I was losing you as my best friend to the person you thought it would be coolest to be, and not who you are. I'm leaving Luke out of this because I learnt afterwards that he wasn't the bad guy. He was the one who got peer-pressured into doing the stuff he hated, the biggest victim of their bullying. He was sincerely a big softy. It's a shame you didn't stay friends with him at least Dan, that would have reassured me a little.
It was not just me, but both of us that threw away our chance of being life long friends. The kind of soul-mates who's friendship would stand the test of time, until we were both old and wrinkly. I have yet to realise whether that will happen with any of my current friends.
I'm sorry I let you down and I will regret my lack of will for the rest of my life.
So here's our side of the story, and if you want to argue against it, be our guest. I understand why you're in denial now Blake, because the truth still means that you're part of the blame. And no-one will let you win, no matter how much you know you are right. So that is today why you will refrain from arguing against another someone also dear to your heart. Because your footprint on life is invisible, you make no difference.
Happy blues Blake, from Yours Truly.