Lillian: MusingMature

I woke with a start, memories of the dream flooding my mind, tears stinging my eyes as I remembered what I had just seen. It looked like tonight would be the same as always, no sleep. I slipped out of bed pulling a Hoodie on over my thin track shirt I slept in. I walked to the window, keeping my footsteps quiet so as to not wake my sleeping roommate. My jaw ached from earlier. I had to break it and re set it as it had healed the wrong way. Damn Rhea, stupid protective popular person and now I was in trouble, she knows what I can do.  

I stood at the window taking in the fresh air. Sometimes I wish I was more popular, but I’m a lone wolf. I had moved to the University from the other side of the country leaving every friend I ever had behind. I toyed with my necklace, fingers running over my garnet stone. I had lost contact with them all, hardly surprising really. I threw myself into my studies, so I can get out of here and move on to bigger and better things, use my healing powers.

I glanced round at the clock and sighed. It was one in the morning and sleep was a lost cause now. I wrote a quick note to Leah before grabbing a pair of jeans and my trainers. I opened the window wide and quickly dropped out, breathing heavily before dropping two stories down onto the campus grounds. I pulled my iPod out of my pocket, putting the buds in my ears as my eyes adjusted to the dark.

My mind wandered to the friends I had left behind as I rethought what had happened today and last night. It wasn’t my fault that John had wanted to kiss me, he was drunk. I didn’t even know he had a girlfriend yet alone Rhea’s roommate and best friend. I didn’t regret it, it was nice to get some attention and not feel like a third wheel for once. The few friends I had were mostly in relationships, and I was a social pariah. I doubt I’ll ever get a partner. As I’m constantly reminded, I have no fashion sense and I’m a weirdo. I doubt a day goes by when I’m not abused in the halls of the University, either verbally or in extreme cases, normally due to Rhea, being pushed around although until today she had never broken anything.

I walked through the trees before coming to a stop by my favourite tree in the whole of campus. It was my favourite place in the whole campus. It reminded me of home, where I would wander aimlessly through the forest, finding animals to heal, just after I realised I had my power. I sat down resting my head against the gnarled trunk and let all my fears run away from me as I became tranquil, the music in my ears tethering me to the earth that I felt I was drifting away from. My love of music and helping people was the only reason I was still here. I listen to everyone’s problems if they need me to, without judgement. But that was all forgotten as I felt myself drift off to sleep the still air surrounding me. Maybe it would get better soon.


I woke up to the sound of a bell, hastily getting up before realising I was outside and my legs were numb with cold. It was then I also realised it was a Saturday and that my music was still playing, the bell in the song awakening me. I shuddered at the cold air nipping at my face and dashed back indoors ignoring a few weird stares I got. Jumping the stairs two at a time I reached the second floor and put my key in the door to my room. Leah was sat on the bed and jumped when I entered.

“Woah, I didn’t even realise you were gone” She said as she clutched her chest.

“I left a note” I replied sadly.

Even my roommate didn’t care anymore. I wish I knew my purpose and at one point I did but know, I have no clue where I’m going or where I belong. Maybe I should just let the past go, so I can move forward to the future. I snapped out of my musings when I realised Leah was talking to me. I nodded and just zoned out again. Oh well another normal day then, being talked at not to. Where am I going in life? I wish I knew. 

The End

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