"I can't Jay...I just can't" I whispered, turning away. I could see where Lee had almost killed me from here. I heard Jay move awa to the table where I had left the note. I watched his face as he read it.
"You were just gonna leave?!" He shouted angrily, tears in his eyes now too.
"I had to...To save you!" I shouted back, hoping that if he got angry enough he would let me go.
"No, that wouldn't save me. That would bring me ever so closer to death."
His words knocked the wind out of me. My mind, which had been full of retorts and half-truths that would have left me free to go suddenly went blank.
"D-death?" I stumbled over the word.
"Yeah. You go, I die." Jay said, grabbing my arm. He pulled me off the rails and I fell into his arms as he kissed me. I couldn't help kissing him back. The person who was holding me now meant the world to me. I loved him. Suddenly I pulled away.
"This is just making it harder, Jay." I said, crying properly now.
"Do you really want to leave?" he replied, pushing the hair out of my face.
"No, but I have to." I replied miserably. "I can never be anywhere! Where I am, I will be putting the people there at risk. There are so many vampires and Hunters out there that want me dead. As soon as word reaches them, they will be coming here and they will be after me. I couldn't live with myself if anything happened to you..."
I choked up. I couldn't say anymore. I had said more than I had wanted to. I tried to pull out of Jay's grasp but he held me tighter, putting my head on his chest. I clung to him desperately. He kissed the top of my head.
"I'm not letting you go, Asha." he murmured, kissing my head again. I just held on to him. I knew I should be pushing him away, but Jay made everything seem so much easier to bear. I didn't want to be without him. Slowly, using one hand, he slid the bag from my shoulder, dropping it to the ground. I didn't move, just holding him still.
"Don't go Ash, please." he said.
I shook my head. Nothing was going to tear me away from Jay now. I couldn't bear to see him hurting.
"And if they ever come, we'll fight them together."
I kissed him then. "I'm not leaving you Jay.. I can't leave you now."