A Sleepless Night

Ro's heavy breathing signals the fact that she's fast asleep.

Scarlett and I are sitting on the couch in our suite and talking, albeit quietly (since we definitely don't want Ro to wake up).

"I still can't believe Ro didn't freak out at the last minute and decide not to go with Rixon," said Scarlett, a silly smile on her face.

Really, the last thing I want to do is talk more about Ro's date. But I plaster that all-too-familiar smile to my face and nod as Scarlett talks.

"She looked really radiant, too, in that gorgeous dress. I can't imagine a happier Ro," Scarlett continues. "What do you think about Rixon?"

I shrug. "We haven't really gotten a chance to get to know him," I point out, using my tone to convey the fact that I want to end the conversation - like, now. Everything about the date reminds me about my first date with Emmett - everything from Ro's dress to the type of musical they watched. I twirl some hair around my finger and shift my eyes to anything but Scarlett's eyes.

Scarlett must sense that I want to talk about something else, because she quickly starts up another topic. "Did you ever see 'Hairspray' on stage?" she asks, and I can recognize her desperation to make me happy. She's such a people-pleaser...it worries me sometimes.

"Umm, no. Not yet." I begin to examine my fingernails. For some reason, I can't shake the jitters.

"Maybe we should go to bed. It's getting late, and we've got a ton of shopping and touring to do tomorrow, right? Maybe even see a movie or something. Does that sound okay?"

"Mmm, what?"

"Does it sound okay to go to bed?"

"Uh, sure, yeah. It does. Let's do." I shove images of Emmett's face from my mind and head over to my bed.

Right before I turn out the lights, though, Ro rolls over, and I realize she wasn't asleep. There's worry in her eyes. "Are you okay, Guinevere?"

"Yeah." I reach over and turn out the lights.

It takes me awhile to go to sleep, though, and as I listen to the sounds of the New York City streets, I can't help but wish that Ro wasn't so obsessive over Rixon - either that, or else that I wouldn't care as much about Emmett. I don't want this to ruin our vacation!

Scarlett, who's sleeping alone in the other bed, falls asleep soon. Ro does, too, after awhile, leaving me awake and alone. After an hour of tossing and turning, I get up, pull my notebook from my suitcase, and grab the pen that hotels always leave on the nightstand.

Like all the other times I can't fall asleep, I sit at the desk and write. Write, write, write. Poems, prayers, prose - whatever soothes me at the moment.

The scratching of pen on paper is soothing.

The End

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