Alexican - Doubts

It had been a shocking morning. As I sat in our cabin on this new ship, one I hoped would last longer than the last one, I reflected on the events of it. What with the guy confronting me, and Valour saving my life, which normally would have been the biggest shock of all. But no, the biggest shock of all had to be the fact that the man who had accosted me believed me to be Ukoar's daughter. The very fact alone chilled me to the bone.

I couldn't be though. I mean I was raised by my father. Sure it didn't seem like I looked much like him at times, but then his features had been changed by the scars from the fire he rescued me from. Everyone had always said I took after my mother as well. I couldn't remember the woman so I took their word for it. 

And surely the reason for the distance between my father and me was the fact that my mother had been killed so tragically and he had only been able to save myself. My father had genuinely loved my mother, I could see it in the way he would talk about her, as rare as getting him to talk was. It was usually only when he was deep in his cups, and had been brought stumbling back from the local tavern, that he would even mention her name. Yes there was a reason for the distance. And he had raised me after all. Why would he raise me if I was not of his blood or, worse, if I was of the sorcerer's.

For a moment my mind went back to the nightmare of flames, to the man standing before my mother, pleading and shouting at her, before like the smoke, he seemed to fade away. But that was just a nightmare, wasn't it? I knew my mother had died in a fire I had been saved from, and I surely had recreated this dream from that. Because, as I had thought before, I was too young to remember such events.

I tried to keep my mind from the more worrying fact, but try as I might I could not stop my eyes from being drawn to the new scar on my arm. I couldn't deny the strangeness of it, the way my skin had knit itself back together, to leave only this small, barely noticeable, mark. I glanced at the other faint scars that traced the arm, and traced my whole body. I had been pulled from a fiercely burning fire, surely I should have more injury than these scars. Unless this strange healing had been present even then.

My thoughts were interrupted by the arrival of Lace, who had been out on deck. All the others were out on deck as well, leaving me to think about my thoughts. I could tell Odael had wanted to talk but Jevin had ushered her out as well. 

"You told me that by asking if I was evil, I couldn't be evil, despite my history or my strange heritage which I can't remember," he said softly, from the doorway. "Surely if what that man suspected is even the slightest bit true, the same could be said for you. No matter what your blood, its what you do that counts."

With those words he turned, to head back out on deck. I sat for a few more minutes tracing the scar with my finger, before following him out. 

He was right of course. I may have had doubts placed about my parentage, but regardless of this, regardless of my strange healing ability I was still me, wasn't I? I still came from a small village, my mother had still died in a fire and my father was still a reclusive drunk with a burning passion for justice. He had raised me, and whether we were linked by blood or not he was still my father. 

I could see the others moving about the deck. It was a calm sunny day, unlike our previous voyage, a day to stand and enjoy it. So moving down the deck, I joined Arien and Odael where they were leaning against a railing. 

The End

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