When I woke up, everything was dark and my mouth was paper-dry.
My whole body ached for some reason and my head felt like it was going to crumble to pieces any second. It took me several seconds to realize that the only reason I couldn't see anything was because I had my arm covering my eyes. Feeling too exhausted to move my arm, I rolled to my side, letting out a groan.
I was an attractive sight in the morning.
The events from last night came rushing back to me. House party at Tyler's. That must be where I was now. Tyler's beer bong. My lips stretched into a smile at his partying ways. He was the only person I knew who liked it just as much as I did.
Jan's vomiting in the toilet half the night, awkward conversations with Rhea. Then something else came into view. It was fuzzy at first and I had to really think if I had dreamed it or not.
'I feel like shit.' Someone's deep voice beside me made me jump, breaking my thoughts.
I gasped, sitting up.
Tyler was stretched out on his front, his t shirt still missing but thankfully wearing his jeans. He propped himself on his elbows and looked at me through red eyes. He looked a little confused at first.
'Hannah why are you in my bed?'
'I don't know, don't ask me.' I swung my legs over the side of Tyler's double bed and began searching for my shoes. 'I have to get home, my parents are expecting me.'
'Did we...' he coughed. 'Erm. Did we do anything last night?'
I turned to face him, blushing. 'No! I'm not a slut Tyler.'
He looked a little put out. 'But we did kiss.'
'Oh God!' That's what my memory had been trying to tell me. I lay back down on the bed, covering my eyes with my hands. 'I'm the worst person in the world. I'm the worst person in the world. I'm the worst person in the world. I'm the - '
'Hannah,' Tyler interrupted. 'It wasn't that bad okay? I'm pretty sure I wasn't terrible.'
'Not you Tyler! I..' I sighed. 'Never mind.' He wouldn't be happy if I told him I still had feelings for Nate. In fact, "wouldn't be happy" would be a huge understatement. I did feel like a horrible person though. I could only imagine Nate's bright blue eyes smiling at me, a single lock of shaggy blonde hair falling across his forehead like it always does. I tried to justify my reasons, alcohol played a big part but I knew that I couldn't blame it on that. I had kissed Tyler. I had to deal with it.
I turned to face him. 'Look Tyler...'
'I know what this is Hannah,' he scoffed. 'Seen it all before. "Look Tyler you're a nice guy and everything but don't take last night as anything serious okay? I was drunk I didn't know what I was doing". Yeah yeah.'
'Correction: I did know what I was doing. But you're..uh pretty much right about the rest. Sorry.'
Tyler looked like he genuinely didn't care. 'It's no big deal. I've done it before. Hooked up with a girl, then had to convince her we weren't in love...'
'Whoa we never "hooked up" okay? It was a simple kiss. A drunken kiss.' I began to start looking for my shoes again.
'You know what I mean.' He rolled over onto his back and I averted my gaze from his body. I did not want a repeat of last night. The thing with Tyler is that he knew he was good looking and he had the ability to crumble your will power and pull you in. I liked to think I was stronger than that but I couldn't make any guarantees.
'Aha!' I successfully found my shoes and put them on. 'Hey do you know where Jan is?'
'In the toilet?' He joked.
'Ha ha very funny. I have a responsibility to look after my drunken friend.
'I think you were more drunk than she was.'
I ignored him and crossed the room, avoiding the mess that had been made by the party and was in the hallway when Tyler shouted after me.
'What? No goodbye kiss?'
'Bite me,' I shouted back.
'Don't tempt me!'
I bit back an amused smile as I made my way down the stairs. It was all fun and games with Tyler, nothing serious was ever going to come out of it. He just wasn't the guy who liked to be suckered down into a relationship. AndI wasn't interested in him that way
As I made my way through the house searching for Jan, I began to think of possible ways to tell Nate about last night. I knew I had to be brave and admit to it. Although we weren't together there were definite feelings there and I'd done something stupid that could risk all of that. He had to know about it, mostly because if we ever did get back together and it did come out later on, it would look much worse coming from someone else than if I'd told him myself in the first place.
I found Jan on the sofa, fast asleep and began softly shaking her arm. She blinked up at me through chestnut brown hair which covered half her face and coughed. 'Hannah?'
'We have to get home you drunken mess.'
'Oh...' she moaned and sat up. 'I must have got like ten minutes sleep.'
'What were you doing?''
What you mean after you disappeared off upstairs with Tyler?' she scoffed.
'Don't you remember? When you both came in from the garden I saw Tyler leading you by the hand upstairs. I didn't like to intrude.'
'We didn't do anything,' I blushed again. 'I'm not like that.'
'Sure, okay Hannah.'
Even though I was 99.9% sure I hadn't done anything with Tyler, the doubt was still there when we left his house. I would have remembered it for sure. But there was still a 0.1% chance that I'd made a huge mistake last night.