Thank you for the tea two evenings past. Your apartment’s décor is … most interesting. I would inquire as to the authenticity of the bloodstains on the carpet, but I think I’d rather not know. Where do you get your biscuits? Please excuse me for eating the entire tin; I would be more than obliged to replace them.
However…ah, intriguing the conversation was, I will have to decline your ‘installation’ offer. I’m a little embarrassed to be honest and I shan’t go into detail in this letter (seeing as it is in a public place), but I really don’t think I’m the kind of dragon you expected. I am more inclined to take up crochet than carnage, if you will.
All the same I hope you enjoyed your welcome basket.