Somebody keeps leaving something heavy in front of my door overnight and it's making it where I can't get out of my place until sometime after 11. My rituals have to happen in the morning or I can't be responsible for what happens.
Whatever it is, I want you to put it somewhere else. I was going to raise this issue with the landlord but since he's mysteriously disappeared, this note will have to be good enough for now.
Anyway, it would pretty cool if you would kindly...
...not do that anymore.
You know who you are. I can find out if I have to. Don't make me.