perhaps a better title would be, "This is what happens, when I drink too much caffeine before bed and can't get to sleep."
Olivia wiped her sweaty palms on her new blue jeans. She'd picked them out yesterday. The crisp feel of the fabric against her skin made her feel more secure. In all her sixteen years, she'd always felt more secure when wearing blue jeans than she did when wearing skirts or dresses. She nervously pressed the backs of her legs against the sofa.
The counselor leaned forward in her chair, tapping her pencil against the ominous clipboard, the one that held all Olivia's secrets. "So," Ms. Counselor ventured, "when would you say you started feeling this way?"
Straightening, Olivia smoothed out the material of her old pink sundress. Someone had told her the dress made her look childish, but fifteen-year-olds were allowed to wear sundresses, weren't they? "I don't know...maybe when I was eleven. I moved when I was eleven, you know."
With frustratingly slow scratches, the ink of Ms. Counselor's pen filled up the pages of the notebook. "That's when you started feeling less secure?"
"Yes." Olivia tapped her freshly manicured fingernails against the arms of the easy chair.
Tick, tock, tick, tock. She'd only just gotten there, and she still had forty-five minutes more to endure.
"Were there any years in which you didn't feel the way you described earlier?" Ms. Counselor prodded.
"Yes...I've always felt, well, somewhat pretty. I've always had good friends. I've...lived in one place all my life. I never had reason to feel insecure, until my boyfriend dumped me."
"Olivia." Ms. Counselor leaned forward. "Does anything feel certain?"
Thankfully, the clock read 9:50. "No. Nothing feels certain. Ever." It was almost time to leave.
"We'll talk about this in tomorrow's appointment. It's almost 11:00." Ms. Counselor began to store away that despicable clipboard. After finishing up with the cliched counselor-y things to say, she opened the door.
Olivia got up to leave. "Thanks," she muttered, as she walked out the door.
Mr. Counselor raised his hand and gave a slight wave. "I'll see you in a couple days."