Thoughts onto paperMature

This is basically a place for me/you to let out any pent up feelings. I know for one it can get very stressful having a lot to say to someone but no way of saying it. So this is my release from that stress. Feel free to join in.

Dear drunk.

First of all, I know I’m not even going to send this, but let’s get on thing clear. The only person to blame here is you. Everything that has happened was because of you. So don’t you dare blame her. You don’t have the right.

Yes, I am cutting you out of my life, because I can’t even stand the sound of your name anymore. Until you change, and prove to me that you’ve changed, you’re no longer a part of my life. I’m tired of you making me and the rest of us feel like shit because you can’t accept that you’re in the wrong. You sat there drinking yourself in oblivion without even considering the effect it was having on the rest of us. You were supposed to be the responsible one, taking care of us when she was out, but instead you drank. Leaving me, an 11 year old girl, the responsible adult looking after my younger brother and sister. That’s not something an 11 year old girl should have to cope with.

And still 5 years later and nothings changed. You’re still the arrogant drunk you always were. And when Mum made you leave you blamed everything on her, making it out to be her that’s telling us not to talk to you. Well you’re wrong. It’s our choice, and we don’t want anything to do with you anymore.

You have no right to know anything about me now, when you couldn’t care less when you were here. You say you’re making an effort but one text every 3 or so months is not effort. And when something happened in my sister’s life that you heard of and weren’t happy with, you send a letter to Mum telling her she is a rubbish mother and needs to look after us better. Again, you’re wrong. You don’t know the whole story, and you wouldn’t even know about it you were here. You never listened anyway. And what the hell makes you think you have the right to give her parenting advice, from the person who got used to get so out of it that you didn’t even notice me, my brother and my sister had gone over the road to stay with a neighbour until Mum got home. You have no right to even think you’re a good parent. And I’m tired of you blaming her, and making her upset over something that is completely one hundred percent your fault. We weren’t horrible, your life was hard, and Mum loved you at some point. What possible reason did you have to drink so much, and treat us like crap, and scream at us for tiny mistakes? Everyone makes them. You’ve made more then enough. I’ve asked you more times the one about your behaviour, given you chances to explain, to at least apologise, but you can’t accept that you’ve done anything wrong. I can’t be around someone who thinks that everyone else is not up to your standard.

I’m tired of your lies; you’ve caused us enough pain already. Please, do something kind for once, and leave us alone.

 

The End

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