Pain - Katrina LowMature

I was numb. Right down to the center of myself I was completely and utterly numb. The only feeling that reached me was when Pet was around. Listening to Rainer's screams for days dug hard into my mind. So when I went out of the raid and it ended up a rescue mission I finally snapped back into action getting the people out before barricading the door.

Owen went up Colligan and introduced them all. There were the two females Anna and Berny, which Owen reffered to her as Funnel, then the brothers Simon and Thomas and finally Jon and Owen himself. I stood watching around calmly making sure we weren't snuck up on. That was when I heard Colligan mentioning they could come back with us.

"Colligan" I said gesturing him over. Once he was over I began to speak in a hushed voice. "We don't have space in the car to talk back six extra people"

"I know. We can't exactly leave them here, though"

"Then we're gonna need an extra car and to split the gas"

"I'll get Sam and Dante to check the streets. I'm sure one of them knows how to hotwire a car" Colligan said sensibly. I replied with a nod but felt a pang spread through my stomach which made me wince. I rested my hand gently over my stomach and focused on breathing. "You okay?"

"I'm pregnant and living on rations, Colligan. No, I'm not okay"

"I can't help it that there's a food shortage, Kat"

"I know you can't" I muttered leaning against the side of the car and glancing around. "We aren't safe in the middle of town"

"We aren't safe anywhere"

"Fine, we're less safe here"

"Where do you suggest we go?" Colligan snapped at me. Well ain't that a nice thing to do.

"Just do whatever you think" I snapped back then sat myself in the car. Colligan set about sending Sam and Dante off before dealing with the newbies. The girl, Berny, came over to me. 

She sat next to me in the car hesitantly. She had been crying with her eyes red and her cheeks stained. "Is where you're living safe?" she asked her voice empty of any emotion. It was a voice that hit a point inside you that just felt wrong. I felt the familiar sickness curl round me and found myself gaping like a fish. Berny seemed to wait then saw my stomach. "Oh, you're expecting?"

"Yeah" I whispered getting something out.

"We....We were looking after some kids" she mutters her eyes going a bit glazed as memories seemed to fog her mind.. 

"I'm looking after a nine year old back at the tower" I mutter feeling very awkward. I mean I was socially awkward but the way the girl was acting was like she was numb inside. It was like how I had been when I lost Rainer. Had she lost someone close to her.

"Well, I'm only fifteen myself" she forced a smile which looked wrong on her face. 

"Nineteen" I shrugged and glanced out the window. "Seems they found a car" 

The arrival of the car seemed to end our discussion as everyone was found a seat before we headed back to the tower. When the six new people walked in there was a grumble and I could see Alice panic a little for Gabriel. I could understand as Pet came rushing up to me. "What about food?" she whispered.

"It will be okay" I reassured her as we headed up to the apartment. When we got there I sat down my limbs aching quite bad. Soon enough there was a knock on the door and Pet ran off to answer it.

"Hi, Colligan" she said brightly making me groan in annoyance. I didn't want to face Colligan right now. I was tired.

"Hey, Pet. Is Kat in?"

"Yep" Pet said brightly and led him to where I was laid on the couch.

I peered up at him suspicious as to why he was actually here. "I need to talk to Kat in private. D'you think you could go and help Rae for a while?" Colligan said gently to Pet with a soft smile on his face. Pet glanced between us before racing off leaving me waiting for Colligan to speak. "Been to see Riley yet?"

"He came by one day I think and said everything was fine"

"Tell him about your pains?"

"I haven't seen him since I got back" I sighed feeling like Colligan was nagging me a bit. 

"How long have you been having them?"

"Just this morning and the one out there" I say calmly and sit up. "Look Colligan, I'm fine"

"I can't help being concerned"

"Look, if I lose it then I lose it but I can't be careful in this world. It isn't an option" I say to him before glancing at him remembering how Rae had been the other day. "And well done with Rae. She's been glowing like hell"

"Sorry?" Colligan said and I thought then maybe I had got it wrong.

"You slept with her didn't you?" I question to which he nods. In a way I felt I should be jealous but Colligan wasn't mine. He was Rae's and honestly they went together like ying and yang. "Both of you seem better for it"

"Right... Anyway, that's not what I came here for"

"I know what you're gonna tell me and you know I'm not gonna listen"

"Kat, you're pregnant. It doesn't matter that it's mine, what matters is that you don't seem to care about its well being"

"I'm not at the point where I need to worry"

"I don't care. You're excused from any and all supply runs until further notice. Is that understood?"

"No, its not" I said trying to hold back my anger as I glared across at Colligan. 

"Do not make me pull rank on you, Kat, because I will"

"You have no rank on me!" I snap at Colligan now really angry that he thinks he can order me around. I rise to my feet the anger boiling in me like a wild fire. "This isn't the bloody army!"

"You're right, it's not. But you are a civilian. It's my job to protect you, and you have the obligation to follow orders"

"I haven't got an obligation to do anything you tell me" I continue before feeling a sharp pain through my stomach causing me to wince. My hand automatically went there sort of to reassure myself.

"That right there is your obligation"

"Just go away" I mutter no longer feeling the will to fight back. 

"Not until we're both clear on the supply run thing" Colligan just continues. Ignoring him I go and lock myself in the bedroom where I wait him out till he's forced to leave and deal with other business. 

I hate being pregnant.

The End

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