I found out my worry was uncalled for. Pet was sound asleep in bed the gameboy clutched in her hands.
I took it out of her hands placing it on the side table then went a back into the living area slumping onto the couch. What the hell had that been? “Told you she’d be fine”
I looked up to find Rainer in my apartment. In my apartment. “Why are you in my apartment?” I whispered as we just looked at each other. Oh god. Oh god. The thought repetitive in my head.
“Maybe I want to pick up where we left of” he said which made me flush. “I’d say you wanted to, as well”
I looked away embarrassed. Did I? It had certainly been nice but if it kept up it would go... go somewhere I swear I’d never go again. Rainer sat next to me causing my eyes to go to him. He leant in and kissed me softly. Softly. I found myself leaning into it. It felt almost natural now that that was what I did. That one kiss turned passionate and I found myself being pressed down into the sofa.
I felt lips over and over upon mine. I felt like my skin was on fire. It was amazing and seriously painful. Then a hand was under my top and my hand came hard across Rainer’s cheek. “What the fuck was that for?” he snapped at me.
I just stared. Why had I reacted like that? “I...Sorry” I whispered not knowing what else to say.
“Should be” he said harshly. I folded my arms across my stomach. I suddenly felt uncomfortable like this wasn’t right. He suddenly got to his feet and I felt a loss.
“Rainer” I said pained.
“Why not? You slapped me”
“I’m sorry....” I whispered. He sat back down and I felt... almost happy. I leant over and kissed him. It felt like the right thing to do to apologize. We ended up kissing all over again which set alight the fire that hurt and made me feel great at the same time.
After many kisses he tried it again his hand sliding under my top. I didn’t dare stop him again to frightened he’d leave if I did and soon his hand was running up and down my side making me shiver. He looked at me and I felt my cheeks warm with a flush.
Rainer chuckled and slid his hand further up getting close to my chest. I squeezed my eyes shut. It hurt so much but also stirred emotions in me I never felt. The aching pounding of my skull was basically ruining it. “Want me to stop?” he asked.
I opened my eyes. I hesitated wondering if I should say but I didn’t want him gone so shook my head. “Sure?” he asked and I nodded to him. It was okay, right?
I could cope with the pain just so he wouldn’t leave. Why did it matter so much he stayed I didn’t know. Suddenly his hand was on my chest groping and I yelped out of shock. He looked at me and I flushed. “Sorry”
“You okay?” he asked again. Oh, how I wished he’d stop asking? I nodded quickly. He continued and I closed my eyes kissing him needing something else to focus on so I forgot about his groping hand. I felt bad for that. I mean I was enjoying this but I didn’t fully trust him. Every touch hurt but mentally.
My top began to be removed. “Kat?” came Pet’s sleepy voice. Rainer groaned but I proper freaked out shoving him off me as I sat up.
“Go back to bed” I rushed out. Pet looked between me and Rainer confused. I was glad she was tired otherwise she’d of understood straight away. She turned and went back into the bedroom. My heart was pounding in my chest. God, that had been so close.
Rainer stood up and I looked at him before looking away again. I felt my cheeks go pink. Gosh, I was so embarrassed. “I should get going” he said and I just nodded. My need for him to stay was gone. I had been acting so stupid!
I hadn’t been thinking at all about Pet just about myself and my needs. I didn’t have time to worry about me because Pet was all that was important. Before he left though Rainer stole a kiss which I was happy to give and I watched him leave.
I got up and went to the bedroom to find Pet waiting. “What’s going on?” she asked immediately.
“I don’t know” I whispered.
Pet frowned at me. “Kat... you and...you and Rainer...”
“I don’t want to talk about it” I said quickly. Pet winced at the harshness in my voice and looked at me with the puppy eyes. I winced, “Sorry, Pet, it’s just. I... I really don’t understand it myself”
She nodded then quietly got back into bed easily falling asleep. I was awake all night my head filled with the images of what had happened. I would have just let him. The words hit me. I was so drawn in I would of just let him take what he wanted. I swallowed and rolled so my back was to Pet. I felt horrible. I’d forgotten about her. I didn’t deserve her looking after me.
What was happening to me? What was Rainer doing? We were in a zombie apocalypse for god’s sake?!