Today is the second day since writing my first entry...I didn't date my first entry because...embarassingly enough, I don't know what month or day it is. I've also been trying to find any evidence of my past existence -not what I was like, I don't care since no one's here to verify or deny that -but just my name. I can recreate myself any way I please, but I feel this sense of urgency to at least form that around the name I once had...something that I still owned if nothing else.
As I was lamenting about my supplies finally dwindling (after all, it's been two years since the fallout and I only had provision for, sadly, almost two years --the stolen foods helped tide me over), I heard what sounded like scavenging noise, and not the kind from hungry birds.
First, allow me to explain where I'm situated: my town was a nice size, relatively speaking, of roughly about 10,000 people (give or take how many of them MOVED to a bigger town, city or country. *Around 5 years before this whole mess what constituted a town or city population had changed to reflect the increase in population nationwide). We're right on a peninsula and the breezes that come in, I swear, had protected us from the worst of the chemicals that rained to earth (although since we're so spoiled by clean water that any type of chemicals used normally in city water would aversely affect us...) that and the fact that our town is not important enough to bomb or even look at despite its advantageous harbors near the ocean.
...That's strange now that I've written it down...but I knew of this fact before --that's why I had decided to move here...which means I wasn't born here...which means I should head to my place of birth...wherever that is. I really wish I could remember more...but anyway, there is a street lined with locally owned stores and a few factories (but they're much farther away and also owned by the TOWN so that there is more control over how it's run and (especially) of its environmental responsibilities.) And there's a town park (different from the neighborhood park where children play at) where there's open space enough for a gathering, and trees here and there...or there were trees...now I'm not quite sure what kind of plant life have taken over, but it's nothing indigenous to this area, neither is it edible, according to the people who've died from being poisoned by ingesting it. The neighborhoods are different: the one I live in is comprised of apartments (because I couldn't afford a house, and they only allow families to own any kind of property) while a few of the other neighborhoods comprised of houses. The schools were built closer to the houses while the apartments were nearer the street of shops. In my apartment building is a basement (illegal. The laws specifically prohibit basements in this town. "Bunkers" are allowable ONLY if a person owned property (in other words, a house) has a permit AND has it built by certified bunker builders. Yes, specifically bunker builders...I have no idea where one would go about finding these specialized builders --none exist in this town...well, maybe I just wasn't privy to such information...anyway) here I am listening to the noises directly above my head (I don't know why they would even be in the apartment, maybe wants to steal clothes? Perhaps it was one of the few people who were still left here...but as I listened carefully, I could hear their voices.
"Darn! (*stronger expletive deleted) I know it's here, WHERE is it?" a male voice boomed.
"Maybe someone found the extra 'storage room' and took all the food already." complained a higher pitched voice (child? woman?).
"You give up too easily. And only three people know of this room: the original owner of all the apartments (he's long dead by the way), the mayor (he's old as time itself, in fact, I think he had convinced the original owner to have this basement in the first place) and the one who built it."
(*Then why do YOU know about this place?? Wait...why do I know about this room, because I remember specifically looking for it, KNOWING that it existed, not stumbling upon it by accident...but now's not the time for memory exercises, what can I do if they find me? Oh, please don't find this room...) It was very painful sitting here waiting for them to either find me or to go away. They decided to go away after much colorful language and banging (I assume punching and/or kicking) the walls. The first thing that came to my mind was: he's gonna have to pay for that, followed by wild giggles. I was safe for a while longer. By tonight, I should just leave. I have a feeling they would return since desperate and hungry people do desperate and foolish things...and sometimes just regular people do stupid crap too, but I happily digress.
After much deliberation, I left the basement to retrieve some items from my room, namely my bag, a change of clothes and the rest of the food. I'll have to stea --borrow more matches from the store along with some tissue paper for when I do my business. I thought about bringing my wallet, but who needs money? As luck would have it, I remembered my license, the only form of ID I had, had expired and I didn't bother renewing it --I didn't want to --so I tossed it out. I wonder if it somehow survived somewhere at the dumpsite... but I'm not that motivated to look for it there, I'll just go back to my hometown...city...or wherever it was I was born.
As night fell (<--I like that expression although it wasn't true tonight, it just sort of collapsed) I made my way to the store to get some matches, candles even, bottled water and toilet paper and began my trek past the town park. Even though there was no one around (that I could see), I still felt compelled to walk quickly and quietly. I'm no sharp shooter so I have sharp scissors --they seem more useful and versatile and less LOUD than guns anyway. And so far, nothing happened so I was free to continue my journey...except that I was trying to remember which direction I came from when I first moved here...I honestly don't remember...so I just picked a general direction, said a little prayer, and began walking...then backtracked because I wanted another pair of sneakers in case I wore these out.
Attempt number two: so I'm now walking in the general direction I chose earlier ---walking along the road because I'm not expecting anyone to drive down/through here; and again, it's quieter than traipsing through the leaves (any other time, it would be my pleasure to traipse through the leaves and no, I wasn't a woodland creature in my past life). Sadly enough, all I could think of was the next place of rest. Being cooped in a basement with foraging at night as my only "exercise" left me worse the wear for this trek. I missed the sunshine even though the rays would kill me (the destroyed atmosphere might have something to do with that *much sarcasm) and I've lost some weight even though I was eating. If I were to guess, I now weigh 100-ish pounds...? Where before, I was an awesome 125. My long beautiful hair is still...wavy but not as joyously as before...not eating all the right nutrients did that to me...listen to me, thinking about my looks at a time like this...well, all I have is time and thoughts...and more road. *Sigh, a journey worth undertaking indeed.