Ryan... is that really my name? I frown slightly, trying to remember things as this girl asks me. It's like dipping my toes in those voids in my mind. Some things present themselves to me, like a memory of chasing after an ice cream truck while I was still living in America, random snippets of other stuff like that. Nothing significant.
Personally, if Terry wants me to be called Person Number 3, I'm perfectly willing to go along with that. I'd rather be Person Number 1, but I s'pose I can't have everything. As long as I have him, I'll be okay. He seems like the kind of person that takes a lot to please. I hope I can please him.
I can think of plenty of ways I could please Terry. If he was up for that kind of thing, of course... God, what would I do if he wasn't? I don't know whether I'd be more humiliated or heartbroken.
This girl, Delia, seems determined to know about me, but she's asking all about the things in those voids, and eventually I just shake my head, refusing to talk anymore. I don't want to piss Terry off, and I don't want to think about things I shouldn't be thinking of. It's wrong, and I feel like I'm violating some kind of unwritten rule or law.
I want to see him. Delia is making me anxious and I want him to tell me what to do about it.
Actually, y'know who makes me more anxious than Delia? It's that other one. Person Number 1. I don't think I've heard her other name. Either way it doesn't matter, but she's spending so much time with Terry and... I don't like it. What if he likes her more than he likes me?
I get up, ignoring Delia's protests and walk over to the door to his room. I knock and wait, chewing on my lower lip.
"Mmm?" I hear, the door opening. "Person Number 3," he smiles at me as he stands in the doorway. I return the smile a little nervously.
"Can- can I come in?" he nods and stands back to let me through. I look around at the room. No bed. Huh. How am I supposed to please him without a bed? I give myself a mental slap, reminding myself that he might not be interested in that. He closes the door and waves at the armchair, wordlessly offering it to me. I mumble a ‘thanks' and sit down, perching on the edge nervously.
"What's wrong?" he asks softly, his lyrical voice almost as beautiful as the classical music I've heard him playing.
"I..." the words die on my lips, "is there anything I can get you?" he smiles and sits on the arm of the chair beside me, leaning in so close. I feel my heart skip a few beats and my breathing quickens as he murmurs in my ear.
"Does Person Number 1 worry you?" I nod, unable to conceal my envy towards her. "She shouldn't," he strokes a finger along my jaw line, "I trust you far more than I trust her. The numbers in your names are just that - numbers. They mean nothing."
"I love you," I find myself muttering quietly, my heart practically leaping out of my chest into his hands. I turn my head and look up at him, almost searchingly, hoping he feels the same way. He presses his lips to mine and I kiss back hungrily, desperate for more.
"I love you too, Person Number 3. Don't ever doubt that. Repeat after me: 'I am the only one whom Terry loves'." As I repeat it back to him quietly, it sinks in with an overwhelming rush of gratitude and relief.
Fuck Delia and Person Number 1. I'm the only one that matters here. They're just... decorations, something pretty to look at. I daringly kiss him again, longing for more of the perfect man beside me and his kisses stray down my neck.
Willingly, I tilt my head to the side allowing him easier access to my skin with a smile. I shiver slightly with pleasure, feeling my jeans tighten a little as he teases me. He slips down onto my lap with a devilish grin and whispers in my ear, "you'll do anything for me, won't you?" I hum my assent and he kisses my neck again.
I feel myself relax inexplicably as I feel something sharp graze my skin, searching for something. His teeth, I realise. I tremble a little, a totally involuntary reaction to his taunting and he calms me with his hands sliding around me, holding me against him tightly as he sinks his teeth into my neck. It's not scary, or even weird.
With Terry... it seems perfectly natural.