Well, I'm writing about how I feel at the moment. A little bit of constructive energy goes a long way. Focused around the context and the idea of the truth in all the ways I can then apply it vaguely to my life.
The truth. The truth hurts like a bitch. It hurts like you had your heart blown out. It hurts like a million cigarette burns. It hurts like suffocating in a room without air. It tears you down, down to the ground. The day I realized the truth, I died. I wailed inaudible wails and screams as my mind slowly tore itself apart as the information was processed. No one gave a crap about my useless life, no one loved me and all the odds were against me. Where once more I would have to fight my way out of the hell that would constantly chase me. It stalked me. It preyed on me. Like the warrior I was I would fight and fight numerous times, but this time I couldn't. I had no fight left because the lie was my life. The lie was the world I was constantly fighting for. The future. My future. My future was a lie. I was just a pawn, a toy, something to make money off of. My innocence, at that moment I wished I didn't have any. I dropped the weighty sword and succumb to my circumstances. I proved the studies right. I was just a statistic. A poor, broke, statistic being constantly forced down at the bottom where I deserved to stay. The promise I so called had, was just a lie. As the others around me just spoke illly of me and threw their false pitty at me. At that moment I just wanted to die. I wanted to just pass. Life was no longer worth living, and I didn't have the mist of alcohol to protect me from my life. I saw it everyday, plain as black and white and every minute I existed past the truth, I was decomposing. Decaying. I knew from that moment on I would never be the same person again. I would live my life falsely. A plastic smile, a fading hello, a dismal glance. That was me. Pathetic, useless, incompetent, greedy, selfish, touchy, that was me. I was nothing anymore. I wasn't myself anymore. I was just a drone. Just an adult following the ways of Captialistic America. I would study something I didn't like, get a secure job and hate myself for the rest of my life. I would be come every adult in America. But what did I have to lose? I was a drone. I didn't have a soul anymore. The truth hurt. The truth ate away at everything. There was nothing I could but sit there and take it.