Cancer: Weird TripMature

When I opened my eyes, I expected to be where I’d fallen asleep – in the park, on the grass, probably pissed on by a drunk tramp and rained on. And unless I’d sleepwalked back home, I definitely did not expect to wake up in bed.

So y’know, it was a really weird fucking moment when I did wake up in bed. Maybe last night was some kind of weird trip. Or... something. I dunno. I glanced over at Aria who was in the bed next to me, and she smiled, despite the fact I must’ve looked really weirded out.

"I had a really weird trip last night," I said, sitting up and looking around a little bit, just to make sure I wasn’t still tripping.

"Did you?"

“Yeah. I thought I fell asleep in the park and that you said you loved me. And now I can’t tell if that was real and that I’m tripping now.”

She laughed a little, “No, that was real.”

“Oh. So you did say you love me?” I asked, wanting to make sure so I didn’t end up offending her or anything.

"I said I think I love you," she told me.

“Did I say anything back or did I just fall asleep on you like an ass?” Not that the fact I can’t even remember doesn’t make me an ass or anything.

"Y'all said ya love me too." Wow, I must’ve been really fucking high. I hope she didn’t hear that just now. Still, I like her, so y’know. It can’t hurt to go along with it, right? I smiled and planted a kiss on her lips, humming as she returned it, smiling.

“D’you reckon that connection’s still there?”

“What am I thinking about?" I asked, trying to think of something other than how she looked.

She blushed a little, "How pretty I am."

“I guess so then,” I chuckled a little.

"Why d'ya ask?"

“Just curious.” She hummed a little at that. If I’m gonna be totally honest with you, I wanna know how safe my thoughts are. I mean, she might be away and I’ll be having a wank over something and she’ll see and it’ll be awkward and yeah. “So what’re we gonna be doing today?” I’m assuming curing my drug hangover and a bit of dealing will be out of the question.

"Spendin' time with my boys."

“I’m guessing that means I should go shower and get dressed.” She nodded, and I whined a little. Can’t I just spend the whole day wandering around the house naked and being lazy?

“What?” she asked.

“Effort,” I complained. She tutted and I wondered, as I dragged myself out of bed, whether I’d be able to get away with curing my drug hangover. She didn’t seem to notice the obsessive thoughts racing through my head as I wandered to the bathroom. I couldn’t tell what her reaction was while I was in the shower still thinking about it, though.

By the time I was finished, I was convincing myself she wouldn’t notice if I only took a little bit. Y’know, enough to make me feel normal, but not enough to get me high.

Apparently she was listening in, though, because just as I was about to cook myself up a tiny hit, sat on the bathroom floor like the desperate junkie I am, she let herself in and cleared her throat. I kind of just froze. I’ve never been denied a hit before. I know I told her I was trying to get better, but I was starting to change my mind.

“Luca.” I was quiet for a while, and she just stood there.

I looked up at her, waiting for her to break the silence, but she didn’t. I was in desperate junkie mode, and she wasn’t offering me much help. After a couple long seconds, she turned around and went back to the bedroom, leaving me to sit there and argue with myself.

In the end, I abandoned the drugs. Something about her disapproval made me heal away the physical effects as best I could and follow her. She looked at me as I walked in and sniffed the air a little, smiling when she couldn’t smell the drugs in me. Remembering I’d abandoned my towel along with the drugs, I pulled a pair of boxers on, feeling a tiny bit better for being covered at least. I didn’t feel quite so vulnerable.

"Y'all didn't need to put those on," she laughed a little, and I gave a slight shrug. “C’mere.” I went over to her, returning the kiss she gave me. I couldn’t tell if she noticed that I couldn’t heal away the shakes completely as she ran her hand through my hair. I let out a small sigh. “What?” she asked, looking kinda concerned.

"Giving up the drugs is gonna be really hard, isn't it?" I asked, even though I already knew the answer to that one. I was beginning to regret telling her I’d try and give up. Day one and I’ve already nearly failed. She nodded and I groaned slightly, earning myself a pat on the head. "C'mon. Let's get out of here," I said, wanting the distraction. She nodded again and I shuffled off to get dressed. 

The End

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