I looked out of the front window of 4 The Street, over to number 3. It seemed unremarkable. There was a tree in the back garden, but other than that, it seemed to be a mirror image of my own new house, and the houses around it. With one key exception. I hadn't seen any movement.
Obviously I needed to get rid of this filthy body before it stunk the whole fucking street out, and normally I was in the kind of situation that allowed the effective disposal of ... the waste I created in my line of work.
This was different though: it was light outside, there were people moving in left, right and centre, and the likelihood was that somebody would be round any moment to do that whole "Welcome to the neighbourhood" bullshit routine. Well, I didn't have time to sit about any longer - I needed to make this body disappear, and I was hatching the perfect plan to do it.
As I was heading downstairs, I heard footsteps outside the door. They were coming closer, and I darted down the stairs, avoiding the small window in the door, round the corner to the little door that led to the garage. Inside I found what I was looking for - a shovel. I ignored the knock on the door and left the room, heading back upstairs to get my soon-to-be-buried friend.
Somebody was still knocking at the door, and as I dared to peek out of the window that overlooked the front door, I saw a teenager standing there impatiently. She had black hair that hung about her face, and as she looked around, I could see her piercing green eyes standing out against her pale skin. As she looked up to the window, I ducked behind the wall, bringing the body to the opposite window that overlooked the back garden.
I used the visitor's shouts as cover for the sound of the body being dumped out of the window and onto the patio below. Luckily he didn't splat quite the way I was expecting.
"Hello? Hello! Is Jake there? Does Jake live here?!" I continued to ignore the shouts as I lept gracefully from the window to the floor. Quickly heaving the body to the fence, I lifted him over into the garden of number 3, the house next door, which I still believed to be uninhabited. I wasn't exactly going to bury a body in my own fucking garden now, was I?
I joined the corpse and began to dig a wide and deep hole, right in the middle of the garden for this fat bastard. He really was more trouble than he was worth.
As I admired my handiwork, I rubbed the dirt off my hands and onto my trousers, before lifting the body up again, ready to dump him in and fill the grave in.
"What the fuck is this?!" A voice came from behind me. I looked round to see a kid in his late teens, with messy black hair and piercings all over his face. He was staring right at me with an incredulous look on his face.
Note to self: 3 The Street is inhabited.