I stood there at the end of the path down his front lawn for a good five minutes. I thought honesty was supposed to be a good thing, but all I’d done was make him not like me. He wasn’t about to come out and tell me it was okay that I dealt drugs, or make me feel any better about it. I have no idea why I stood there hoping he would for so long.
It was true, though. About doing it to support me and Cody. It was the only thing I was good at enough to earn the right kind of money. I mean, I might’ve graduated high school, but I was in no better a position for a good job than Luca was, and he can’t even read.
Eventually, I gave up and walked away.
I was kinda glad that Cody had someone over when I got back home. He was busy, and it meant I could send myself to sleep before he came up to check on me. I crept up the stairs, got changed into a baggy, girly shirt and a pair of leggings before crawling into bed to shoot up and sleep.
I ended up moping around the house for the next couple of days in baggy clothes with my comforter wrapped around me. My hair was tied back in a messy pony tail and I lived off ice cream the whole time. At a glance, you’d probably think I was a chick that’d just had a nasty break up. Not me. No, I got compared to an abusive man because I sell drugs to make a living. Would Emrys have preferred it if I was a whore or something? Maybe I should do that.
A violent shudder left me feeling cold at the thought. Okay, maybe the sex industry isn’t for me. Sex is gross. What else could I do that would still bring in that kind of money? Simple answer is not very much. Short of becoming a successful business person overnight in something legal, or winning the lottery, my options were kinda limited.
“Something wrong, short stuff?” Cody asked, putting down his bag of college stuff on the coffee table. That might seem like a stupid question to you, but I tend to wander around the house in a comforter cocoon eating junk food just because I could. I guess I really did look like shit. Either that or the fact I hadn’t bothered to clean up after getting high earlier had tipped him off.
“No,” I squeaked, instantly giving myself away. He cleared up and sat down next to me, putting an arm around me the way big brothers do.
I stumbled outside with a bottle of whiskey in one hand and an empty needle in the other. Cody had had to go out somewhere and had left me with the sound advice of ‘just go talk to him, you’ll be fine’. Yes, I was still wearing leggings and a girl’s shirt. Yes I was bawling my eyes out. And yes, it really meant that much to me to have a new friend.