You have given me more sleepless nights than anyone I know. You have caused more choking sobs to escape my lips than I ever thought I'd deal with. I have been curled up on more than one bathroom floor because of you. I have sworn to wait this out, and I've sworn to walk away. I've begged you to stay and I've begged myself to be able to let go. I've begged for you to not call the ambulance. I've screamed until my voice broke and I've given you the silent treatment until I nearly forgot what it felt like to have you listen. All that time I spent waiting, after all of it, what counted was when I walked away for real. When I placed the figurative ball on the line between us and turned around.
      What mattered was when you realized I wasn't the only one hurting. When you called me that night, I didn't think it would be any different from the past handful of conversations we'd had. Then you cried. Up until that moment, I'd never seen you break face. I'd never heard you that broken.
      Until that moment, I've never felt so destroyed.
      When you collapsed into my arms I lost all feeling in my heart. Nothing else existed. I've never been so torn in my life. I was supposed to be done. I was supposed to be over you. Who would have thought that all it took was one moment where I knew you needed me. God, it had been so long. I will never forget how you said those words. How your voice was stuck in your throat and the tears hit the couch and I was on my knees. I will never forget the feel of your lips clinging to mine as if I could save you.
The End

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